Updated: April 17, 2018
Originally Published: January 13, 2012
In recent discussions, there has been considerable debate surrounding the expression of negative emotions toward our children. Some may question our right to voice these feelings, fearing the potential impact on our children’s future. Will they feel betrayed or hurt if they come across a post or tweet years later? It’s important to recognize that the internet is permanent, and words, once shared, can be challenging to erase. But let’s consider: is it selfish to prioritize our emotional release over their future sentiments?
In reality, we are simply striving to cope.
Motherhood is an arduous journey, filled with both uplifting and challenging experiences. While the joyful moments often surpass the frustrating ones, they do not define the entirety of the experience. If there exists a mother who has navigated this path without a single complaint, I would be curious to learn her secret because it seems implausible. Different mothers find various outlets for their stress—some may turn to alcohol, shopping, or even infidelity, while others may choose to write. Which of these do you think is more harmful to a family?
Our children need us present and engaged right now. They require our love, guidance, and attention. If sharing a post or a tweet allows me, or any other mother, to release pent-up emotions and be more attentive to our families, then it is undoubtedly worthwhile.
The love I hold for my children is unequivocal. Every choice I make is influenced by how it affects them. They are my world, and I express my affection for them daily. However, I am not perfect. More crucially, do my children need to view me as flawless? If in 15 years they discover that I found them occasionally annoying, and that is their greatest hardship, then I will consider them incredibly fortunate—and I will gladly accept the title of Mother of the Millennium.
My writings, along with guest submissions and anonymous confessions, may not resonate with everyone, and that’s perfectly acceptable. There are countless platforms celebrating the ideals of motherhood, and I encourage anyone to engage with those that speak to them. However, it is not acceptable for anyone to dictate how others should express their feelings. For instance, when a mother of a child with special needs shares that she loves her kids but sometimes struggles to like them, it is not our place to criticize her.
I teach my children that they don’t have to like everyone, but they must treat all individuals with respect. I remind them that when something doesn’t affect them personally, they should simply ignore it and focus on their own lives. These fundamental lessons are timeless, and unfortunately, some seem to have forgotten them.
Social media does introduce complexities into parenting, as we are the first generation to navigate this landscape. We must be mindful of our words and consider the potential for our children to come across them in the future. I am confident that the love and guidance we provide will equip them to handle a few sarcastic posts down the line. After all, if my children cannot understand humor, I would see that as a personal failing in my parenting.
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Summary:
In the digital age, expressing the complexities of motherhood is essential for self-care and emotional well-being. Mothers must prioritize their mental health while recognizing the potential long-term effects of their words. Understanding that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about parenting can foster a supportive community, even amid the challenges of social media.