During the summer of 2012, my daughter Mia, who was fifteen at the time, expressed a strong desire to visit Montauk Point. Having spent her entire life on the opposite side of Long Island, neither of us had ventured to the easternmost tip, which is home to a charming lighthouse and museum. Although we had come close during Girl Scout camping trips, this trip felt necessary.
We turned our journey into an adventure, stopping for a delightful breakfast on the way, navigating through heavy rain, and finally arriving at our destination just as the weather cleared. We relished climbing the lighthouse, exploring the museum, snapping photos, relaxing on the beach, and wandering around the picturesque landscape. It quickly became a cherished spot, and we promised to return for the holiday lighting event that takes place the weekend after Thanksgiving.
A Significant Thanksgiving
That Thanksgiving was poised to be significant. My eldest daughter, Sarah, was returning home from college with her girlfriend, who would soon become her fiancée. This would mark Tara’s first holiday spent with our family of six.
I had planned a wonderfully packed weekend. The older girls would spend the morning playing with my three-year-old, Lucy, while I prepared the Thanksgiving feast. They would bond over games with Mia and my twelve-year-old son, Noah. We anticipated a lovely dinner with my in-laws, followed by a movie outing. The next day was reserved for Montauk, just the girls and me. Saturday would be dedicated to decorating the Christmas tree, reminiscing about the ornaments as we enjoyed hot cocoa and holiday music.
The Montauk Trip
Most of the weekend unfolded as intended; however, the Montauk trip did not go exactly as I had envisioned. The drive takes approximately two and a half hours, and traveling later in the day to catch the lighting, followed by the drive back, made our visit feel particularly brief. We faced multiple stops for bathrooms and snacks, adding to the stress of ensuring we arrived in time for the lighting. Upon arrival, the temperature was frigid, with a biting wind. We managed to find a good spot to witness the lighting and even caught a glimpse of Santa, but we didn’t linger long. I became disoriented in the dark while trying to find the car, with Lucy fussing about being cold and scared.
The drive home was eventful. Lucy had a cold and, due to her sensory sensitivities and rigid behaviors, insisted that only I could wipe her nose. Every few moments from the backseat came the refrain, “You g’ wipe my nose?” I explained that I needed to keep my hands on the wheel, especially driving through the dark with no streetlights. Lucy suggested a humorous solution: “You g’ wipe my nose. We g’ walk fast home. Then I be happy.” This repeated insistence led to much laughter, and finally, after about an hour, she allowed one of the older girls to assist her. From there, it turned into a comedic routine of her tossing used tissues at me, creating a rather chaotic atmosphere.
A Surprising Favorite Memory
Once the weekend concluded, I reached out to Sarah at college to see how she and Tara had enjoyed their time with us. To my surprise, she mentioned they had a fantastic experience. I was particularly curious about Tara’s favorite moment, and her response astonished me.
It wasn’t the meticulously prepared Thanksgiving meal that catered to both my turkey-loving in-laws and my vegan daughters; it wasn’t the fun night at the cinema watching “Breaking Dawn”; it wasn’t the playful moments at the playground, nor the Christmas tree decorating. No, Tara’s favorite memory was the trip to Montauk.
“Really?” I asked in disbelief. “The long drive, the brief stay, the unbearable cold, and Lucy’s antics?”
“It was magical,” Sarah replied. She explained that the joy stemmed from our car ride filled with beloved Christmas songs, the stunning clarity of the night along the coast under a full moon, the impeccable timing of our arrival at the lighthouse, and, of course, Lucy’s amusing behavior added a delightful touch.
Lessons Learned
As mothers, we often feel the pressure to create holiday magic. However, my Montauk experience taught me that true magic unfolds organically in the hearts of our children and their friends. All we need to do is invest our time and remain open to the moments that arise.
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In summary, the unexpected moments often become the most cherished memories, revealing that the essence of family bonding and joy lies within the experiences we share together.