When embarking on the journey of potty training, many parents feel prepared. You may have read helpful books or gathered insights from friends who have successfully navigated this milestone. However, the reality can be more challenging than anticipated, often involving accidents, behavioral changes, and a significant increase in laundry. Eventually, most children master this skill, marking a significant step toward their independence.
Yet, there’s an aspect of potty training that is frequently overlooked: regressions. These are not the minor setbacks that can occur shortly after training; instead, they often happen when children are older, particularly after they start school. This phase can be particularly distressing for parents who believe their child is well past such issues.
I am currently experiencing this situation with my son, Ethan, which has revealed parts of myself I didn’t know existed. These feelings emerge when, for the third time this week, he gets up from the playroom with a wet bottom. When I inquire if he understands what has happened, he simply states he had an accident. His nonchalance about the situation adds to my frustration.
My partner and I have consistently reassured Ethan that accidents are normal and that we won’t react with anger. We want him to feel comfortable discussing these incidents, as I myself dealt with a bladder disorder in childhood that was never diagnosed until later. The shame associated with my experiences has shaped the way I approach potty training, as I strive to ensure my son does not feel embarrassed when accidents occur.
Despite our efforts, after a recent move disrupted Ethan’s routine and social connections, his occasional accidents have become more frequent. Days filled with several accidents are now common, and I often find him coming home in borrowed clothing after exhausting his spare outfit at school.
We’ve attempted to maintain a positive attitude about his accidents, although it’s challenging to understand why he seems oblivious to his bodily cues. I’ve reminded him to use the bathroom, only to have him return saying he couldn’t go. He eventually confided that sometimes he holds it in because he dislikes being told what to do, or because he finds the process of washing hands tedious. At times, it appears he simply ignores his body’s signals.
Now that Ethan is five, I suspect he may be experiencing anxiety about missing out on activities and thus postpones bathroom visits. This behavior is not uncommon, as many children struggle with similar issues. After consulting our pediatrician, it appears that this may be more of a behavioral challenge than a medical one. Each day has become a battle, with Ethan refusing to drink enough water at school to avoid needing to use the restroom. My attempts to encourage him to go before class often lead to disputes, making mornings stressful for both of us.
As I navigate these challenges, I find myself hoping that the advice I receive from others—that he won’t still be having frequent accidents as a teenager—is accurate for his sake.
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In summary, potty training regression can present significant challenges, especially when children are exposed to new environments and stressors. Understanding the behavioral aspects and maintaining open communication is crucial for parents as they support their child’s development.