As dawn broke over the expansive fields of Iowa, I glanced at my children in the rearview mirror. We were embarking on a cross-country road trip, having set off early to return to the East Coast. My daughter was peacefully asleep, while my son caught my gaze and smiled. No longer a toddler in a car seat, his 13-year-old expression radiated maturity as he said, “I’m really enjoying this time on the road with you, Mom.” As we soaked in the sunrise, I savored this delightful moment in the journey of parenting teenagers.
Much has been said about the challenges that accompany raising teens. It’s well-known that parenting during these years requires immense patience. Between eye-rolling, slamming doors, awkward conversations about relationships, and navigating unpredictable emotions, it can feel overwhelming. Over the past few years, my limit has been tested, leading to candid discussions about intimate topics at the dinner table. This phase can be exhausting, and let’s not even discuss the financial toll of my wine purchases during these times.
Despite the trials, I find that raising a tween and a young teen has become my favorite phase of parenting—eye-rolls and all. Contrary to the warnings I received, I am discovering that, much like toddlers, teens bring unique joys. I cherish the special moments spent with kids on the brink of adulthood.
As they transition into their teenage years, the need for constant supervision diminishes, allowing parents to breathe a sigh of relief. Teens can independently handle tasks like tying their shoes, making sandwiches, and showering. While they come with their own set of challenges—like the aforementioned eye-rolls—life becomes physically easier. The day my daughter could reach the cabinets and I no longer had to empty the dishwasher was a milestone worth celebrating.
Of course, there are moments when I miss the coziness of footie pajamas and the sweet smell of freshly bathed babies. Scrolling through old baby photos can spark a nostalgic ache for storytime and playdates. However, I quickly remind myself that the tumult of tantrums and cacophony of toys that drove me to seek solace in a glass of wine are behind us. Now, when I snuggle on the couch and introduce my kids to my favorite ’80s movies, I find no longing for Sesame Street.
Though parenting teens can be challenging, there exists a magical window around ages 12 and 13 that I wish could last forever. They are still too young to drive away for parties but old enough to enjoy spending time with their parents, which makes them feel grown up. I’ve gained invaluable insights into their social lives simply by playing board games and sharing ice cream with them. The refined bedtime routines and years of parenting experience have made me more eager to connect and listen to their daily experiences. When I realized how much they make me laugh with their humor, I recognized the individuals they are becoming—and it’s a joy to witness.
In those precious moments, between the sighs of frustration from my daughter and my son’s declarations of my absurdity when I impose screen time limits, I appreciate that the toddler years are behind us. Introducing them to art and culture while sharing my true self has made me grateful for this phase of parenting. While I could do without the occasional eye-roll, I am primarily focused on the moments where their true personalities emerge, revealing the adults they will grow into.
The sun grew brighter, casting a warm glow over the Iowa highway as we traveled onward. My daughter stirred just as Bon Jovi played on the radio. My son shouted, “Crank it up, Mom!” and as we sang along together, I relished the sound of their evolving voices, grateful they share my love for ’80s music.
In summary, parenting teens may come with its own set of challenges, but it also offers a unique opportunity to bond with them during a pivotal stage. Embracing these moments allows for deeper connections and shared experiences that can be truly enriching. For those interested in exploring more about family dynamics and home insemination, check out this insightful resource at UCSF and consider the options available at Make a Mom.