When my partner, Alex, and I first tied the knot, our initial months together were quite harmonious—thanks largely to the fact that we had already shared a living space prior to our marriage. Had we returned from our honeymoon and merged our lives and belongings without prior cohabitation, the experience would have been far less romantic. This realization comes from my memories of living with my previous roommate, which were anything but serene.
I distinctly remember thinking, He’s always around, as I craved moments of solitude to attend to personal grooming rituals that I preferred to keep private. Preparing for outings became more of a hassle than a thrill, as we jostled for space at a cramped vanity while I tried to shave my legs in the shower, all while hearing him use the toilet nearby. The bed was perpetually unmade the moment he lounged in it; his feet, needing to “breathe,” would somehow accumulate socks at the foot of the bed—an act that felt intentionally irritating. Those early months were filled with adjustments and challenges.
Furthermore, Alex often voiced opinions on decor—territory I believed was solely mine. I vividly recall the time he insisted on joining me at the florist for our wedding flowers, only to fall asleep and start snoring during the consultation. Does he genuinely care about flowers? I often wished that aspects like home aesthetics could be my sole responsibility. Hands off, dear; go construct a man cave or something!
Fifteen years later, aside from the occasional disagreement over toilet paper replacement or reminders about recycling, I have grown to appreciate sharing a home with the love of my life and our wonderful children. Most days, I genuinely enjoy it. Yet, this doesn’t diminish my vision of an ideal home where I could imagine living without the chaos brought by a partner and children.
Would you like to explore this vision with me?
Let’s begin with the bedroom: adorned with delightful pink bedding, free from stray body hairs and remnants of breakfast. Moving on to the bathroom, I envision a serene single sink, devoid of hair clippings and toothpaste smudges, complemented by a clawfoot tub adorned with a chandelier that serves purely as a decorative piece.
A dedicated dressing room would be essential, providing a tranquil space for makeup application and jewelry selection. The kitchen would revolve around my cherished pink Cuisinart mixer, with the air always infused with the scent of vanilla candles. Finally, a crafting and gift-wrapping room, a personal sanctuary, would complete this dream home.
Ultimately, if all goes as planned, and we continue to thrive together, this ideal living space may remain a dream in my mind. And perhaps that isn’t such a bad outcome.
(P.S. Alex, while you were away, I’ve decided we’re switching sides of the bed—hope you’re okay with that!)
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In summary, envisioning a dream home where one can live independently is a refreshing thought for many parents. It allows for the possibility of a tranquil space, free from the everyday chaos of family life, while still cherishing the love shared with partners and children.