As someone who values cleanliness, I must admit that I struggle with maintaining order in my home. Unfortunately, I find myself falling short in the kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom. Given the option between a pristine living space and a scene straight out of a reality show about hoarding, I would undoubtedly choose the former—provided I don’t have to undertake the cleaning myself.
While I am not inherently dirty—I would happily shower multiple times a day if my schedule allowed—I often find myself preoccupied with concerns about germs in public spaces. I panic when my children track mud into the house, and a simple stain on my shirt during lunch can send me into a flurry of anxiety. My hand often covers the stain, attempting to shield it from prying eyes, creating the impression that I am perhaps engaging in a rather questionable gesture.
The root of my problem lies in my aversion to cleaning. It feels like a futile endeavor since the mess will inevitably return. If I had the financial means and a complete disregard for the environment, I might simply discard dirty dishes and clothes, replacing them with new, spotless items. I would throw away every piece of paper without a second thought. If I didn’t worry about the potential therapy costs for my children, I would photograph their school projects and toss them in the trash without remorse.
Occasionally, friends share how cleaning brings them peace and clarity. I can’t help but wonder if they are under the influence of some form of hallucinogen or perhaps just a particularly potent cleaning solution.
My husband is undoubtedly the most let down by my lack of cleaning skills. I may have inadvertently misrepresented my abilities when we first began dating. When he mentioned being organized, I eagerly agreed, although that was far from the truth. My cleaning habits would make for rather embarrassing revelations: I mix colors in laundry, use the vacuum cleaner to clear crumbs off the dining table, neglect to change sheets for far too long, and cram clothes into drawers without folding them. It has been years since I last used a mop.
I often worry that our home would devolve into a chaotic mess if not for the occasional incentive of unexpected guests. My desire to keep my “slob” status a secret drives me to hire professional cleaning services, a somewhat drastic measure for someone like me.
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In conclusion, while I may openly struggle with maintaining a clean home, I recognize the importance of cleanliness and the lengths I go to keep it under wraps.