“Parenthood can be quite challenging, can’t it?” my colleague texted me recently.
“Indeed,” I replied, recognizing the weight of our conversation. We had been discussing potential plans to meet up, but the reality of our children’s activities, travel commitments, and other responsibilities made that increasingly difficult.
I miss connecting with her. She feels the same. Life can be tough sometimes.
This morning began with a malfunctioning bathroom sink, followed by a shower door that decided to detach. To top it off, one dog had an unfortunate accident on my son’s piano book, while the other (or perhaps the same one?) made a mess across the living room, dining room, kitchen, and family room. The chaotic morning culminated in a rushed school drop-off and hurried farewells. I found myself teetering on the edge of tears for reasons I couldn’t quite articulate. Some days just feel heavy.
“Parenting can be overwhelming,” another friend messaged me later in the day. “I feel like I’ve jumped off a parenting cliff without a safety net.”
“I relate to that sentiment,” I responded.
Questions and uncertainties often plague our minds as parents. Are they sleeping enough? Are we spending adequate time reading together? Is it inappropriate for my child to still hold onto a comfort item? Am I making the right choice by allowing my son to play football? Should they engage in more activities or fewer? With every new stage and every new question, it feels as though I’m leaping into the unknown without a plan. More often than not, I grapple with the feeling of inadequacy.
Parenting is undeniably challenging. So are friendships, relationships, work, and life itself. At times, everything feels burdensome.
By asserting that life can be difficult, I realize I’m venturing into contentious territory. It’s not typically well-received to vocalize struggles; society tends to favor narratives of success and positivity. We feel more comfortable discussing hardships in retrospect, once we’ve navigated through them. We share tales of our struggles only after we’ve emerged victorious, often echoing sentiments of gratitude for our newfound clarity.
But what about those moments when we’re still in the thick of it? When we’re overwhelmed, lost, or grappling with our challenges? Where are the “I understand” stories in those times?
I’ve noticed that during my most challenging moments, I often deceive myself with the belief that I am alone in my struggles. The truth is that some of life’s most rewarding experiences are also the most demanding. Parenting is incredibly tough. Maintaining a marriage can be complex, particularly when raising young children. Nurturing friendships can become cumbersome and inconvenient, especially across long distances. Simply being an adult can feel like a Herculean task.
The most profound aspects of life—parenting, marriage, friendship—often come with their own set of difficulties. Denying these challenges doesn’t lessen their significance; rather, it diminishes the authenticity of our experiences. Acknowledging that life can be hard does not negate its beauty.
Every day, I’m reminded of the richness and beauty life holds, even on the most challenging days. I express gratitude for my children daily, even on days when parenting feels like navigating a minefield. I deeply cherish my spouse, family, and friends, despite our obligations and the complexities of our daily lives.
Recently, my colleague and I resumed our conversation about when we could meet again. Living a thousand miles apart and managing our busy lives complicates our plans. We both agreed: yes, life can be hard at times, and we often hesitate to admit it when we’re in the middle of the struggle. We even joked about organizing a girls’ weekend soon.
“Pasta salad!” I texted, referencing a quote from a classic film. The character laments that while some people enjoy idyllic stories filled with sunshine and camaraderie, in that moment, they’re stuck in a more mundane reality.
The truth remains that sometimes life is challenging, sometimes it’s easier, and often it’s a mix of both. The key may lie in finding joy even when we feel like we’re teetering on the edge of uncertainty. Perhaps it’s about savoring those imperfect moments, like enjoying a bowl of pasta salad—even if it’s not perfect. It could also mean indulging in a little cookie dough while sipping wine and chatting with a friend about the difficulties we face.
Conclusion
In conclusion, acknowledging the challenges of parenthood and the complexities of life can foster deeper connections and understanding. Embracing the hard moments allows us to appreciate the beauty that coexists with them.
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