Prior to my journey into motherhood, I held the naive belief that having a son meant I could simply purchase multiple identical sets of overalls and packs of dark onesies. However, I have come to understand, through 19 months of experience, that toddlers possess a remarkable degree of pickiness regarding their attire—often outshining even the most discerning fashion editors. While I tend to favor my uncomplicated “mom uniform” of yoga pants and any shirt devoid of buttons, my toddler has illuminated five distinct styles that characterize this developmental stage:
1. The Nudist
A notable contingent of toddlers revels in the unencumbered freedom of nudity. Were it not for the costly steam cleaning bills incurred when a toddler has an accident on the carpet, I might wholeheartedly endorse this clothing-free lifestyle. Given that my own wardrobe is frequently stained by toddler-related incidents, I find myself increasingly supportive of this sartorial choice.
2. The Fashionista
There exists a select group of trendsetting toddlers at our local park, and I must admit that my son often takes the lead. This phenomenon can be attributed to his father’s influence, who sports a fedora. A “Fashionista” is identified by their penchant for trendy attire, which may include items such as faux fur vests, twirly skirts, designer tutus, TOMS shoes, or intentionally distressed jeans that cost upwards of $80.
3. The Minimalist
For this child, simplicity reigns supreme. They seek comfort and functionality, showing disdain for the complexities of patterned blouses adorned with buttons. The nudist approach is also deemed impractical for preventing discomfort while playing at the park. This is the child I envisioned when I invested in overalls from Osh Kosh B’Gosh, expecting a need for practical clothing.
4. The Costumer
This toddler embraces the theatrical and often prioritizes bold expressions over comfort. They may don a full astronaut suit during a summer outing or insist on wearing their finest tutu to a winter performance of The Nutcracker, regardless of the temperature. Suggestions to wear a coat that might conceal their costume are met with strong resistance.
5. The PJ-er
The PJ-er epitomizes comfort, favoring flannel or footed pajamas above all else. This style resonates deeply with me, as I too relish in my cozy sleepwear. I often find that my fully dressed fashionista child, in an attempt to encourage me to dress appropriately, leads me back to my closet. I suspect that my future child will happily remain in their drool-stained pajamas all day, politely declining any invitations that require us to leave the house. Unfortunately, societal norms often view the public PJ-er toddler more favorably than the adult counterpart, a stigma I am working diligently to overcome—one day in flannel pajamas at a time.
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In summary, toddlers exhibit diverse styles, each reflecting a unique personality and preference. From the liberating nudist to the bold costumer, understanding these categories can enrich the parenting experience and help caregivers navigate the whims of toddlerhood.