Last weekend, I found myself in a situation I never anticipated. I was pleading with my fourteen-year-old son, Jake, to invite some friends over.
After years of chaotic gatherings where his pals transformed our home into a whirlwind of energy—upturning furniture and even managing to break a few family heirlooms—I thought I had seen the last of such social events. Yet, when Jake’s social life seemed to dwindle, and his father and I observed him spending entire weekends lounging in his pajamas with the curtains drawn, immersed in video games, I recognized the need for action.
Me: “Hey Jake, how about having some friends over for your birthday? We could order pizza and watch a movie together.”
Jake: “Nah.”
Me: “Why not?”
Jake: “Cuz…”
And that, my friends, exemplifies a typical conversation with a teenage boy.
We suggested numerous times that “face time” should involve actual face-to-face interactions, not just digital avatars. We emphasized the importance of exploring the outdoors and engaging in imaginative play. Yet, he remained unconvinced.
Consider this: if you were a kid today, wouldn’t the idea of having constant access to your friends from the comfort of your bedroom seem incredible? During my teenage years, I had to make do with strict phone limits and long phone cords tethering me to my mother’s bedroom.
I must admit, I found myself in a bit of a hypocritical situation. One recent Friday night, while I sat in my own room, cocktail in hand, engaging in a lively video chat with fellow bloggers, my two sons peeked in, visibly perplexed.
Jake: “Mom, what are you doing?”
Me: “I’m video chatting! Come join me!”
Jake: “Old people. Get a life, Mom.”
Me: “What?! Hold on. I have a life! What social plans do you have, Mr. Know-It-All?”
That evening, in the coziness of my pajamas, I virtually traveled to Singapore, mingled at a Ruby Tuesdays in Minnesota, toured a house in Texas, and conversed with friends from England, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, and even Hawaii—all with cocktails included.
For reasons unknown, Jake kept returning to check out my laptop, and within ten minutes, both boys were sitting beside me, introducing themselves to my online friends.
I understand. Getting dressed and stepping out to engage with others can feel like a daunting task, yet I do it—occasionally.
This weekend marked a change; Jake announced he would be heading to a friend’s house to collaborate on a school project—with actual peers!
Jake: “I might not make it home for dinner.”
Me: “Great! Enjoy yourself! I have a video chat scheduled.”
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In summary, striking a balance between digital interaction and real-world connections is essential for today’s youth. By encouraging social engagement outside of screens, we can help foster meaningful relationships in their lives.