Updated: Aug. 13, 2023
As parents, we often find ourselves marveling at how quickly our little ones grow up. One moment, they’re cooing in a crib, and the next, they’re zipping around the house like they own the place. It’s a bittersweet realization that resonates deeply, especially on days when you question how soon your child will be off to college.
Recently, while observing little Emily take her first wobbly steps, my partner, Mark, posed a thought-provoking question: “If there were a way to stop time, would you want to have more kids?” After a hearty laugh, I emphatically replied, “No way!” Surprisingly, my immediate certainty surprised even me. When he asked why, the reasons swiftly rolled off my tongue: nine months of physical upheaval, excruciating delivery pain, and those harrowing moments in the delivery room—like when the doctor exclaims, “I can’t locate the source of all this bleeding” under glaring lights.
Yet, while there’s a tinge of sadness in knowing these experiences are behind me, I also find solace in recalling some baby-related milestones I’m relieved to leave in the past.
- The first instance of projectile spit-up that necessitates an immediate bath—clothes and all.
- Discovering a dried umbilical cord stump nestled among the footie pajamas.
- The inaugural call to Poison Control due to a curious little mouth.
- That moment when the operator chuckles after you mention, “My baby just ingested Butt Paste.”
- The first outing without a diaper bag, resulting in a makeshift diaper crafted from socks and electrical tape in a public restroom.
- The shock of having a hoop earring yanked away by a nursing infant’s sudden motion.
- The chaos of a diaper explosion requiring a complete cleanup of the pack-n-play.
- The realization of two large wet spots on your shirt after several hours of being in public.
- The sleepless night of a baby crying for hours, only to finally fall asleep just before your alarm goes off.
- The frantic effort to baby-proof after discovering your child happily swimming in a cloud of baby powder.
Reflecting on these experiences certainly lightens my mood. I might even rephrase the title to “10 Baby Milestones I’m Thankful I Probably Won’t Relive,” though I must remember we still have a little one in the house; there’s always a chance for another bout of Butt Paste ingestion!
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In summary, while the joys of parenthood are immense, some experiences are best left in the past. It’s all part of the beautiful, chaotic journey of raising children.