Last night, I set out with a clear goal: to retire early and enjoy some much-needed rest. Sounds straightforward, right?
My Night in Timeline
8:28 PM – I settle into my child’s bed and read stories to him, lingering until he drifts off. For a moment, I consider just dozing off beside him.
8:49 PM – I decide against it and rise to put the other child, Max, to bed.
9:01 PM – After some persuasion, Max agrees to sleep in his own room. He is, after all, not supposed to be my roommate. I lie down with him, but he’s not ready to sleep yet. Max wants to chat, read more, play, and even make shadow puppets. I again contemplate falling asleep with him.
9:38 PM – Finally, Max is asleep.
9:40 PM – I tuck in my daughter, Grace.
10:21 PM – At last, I am in my own bed. What a relief!
10:24 PM – My partner, Jake, goes to bed.
10:41 PM – Jake starts snoring.
10:46 PM – Grace begins to cough.
10:48 PM – Jake’s snoring escalates. He insists he doesn’t snore and claims he can sleep through anything.
10:52 PM – Jake yells after I try to nudge him awake to stop the snoring.
10:54 PM – I move to Max’s bed. At least there’s no snoring or coughing here.
11:00 PM – Grace is coughing again.
11:07 PM – I can hear Jake snoring from across the hall; it’s that loud.
11:14 PM – Max sneezes.
11:30 PM – I relocate to the guest bed. Finally, some peace and quiet.
11:48 PM – The dog starts barking, followed by a car alarm and the sound of wind outside.
12:15 AM – I’m back on the couch, scrolling through social media and watching Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
1:31 AM – Max starts coughing and whining. I move back to his room.
1:32 AM – I hear the toilet flush.
1:37 AM – Now, Ben is calling for me. I find him in Max’s room, and due to the limited space in the twin bed, he ends up on top of me.
1:42 AM – I try to return to my own bed, but Jake is still snoring and breathing heavily after a nudge from me.
1:43 AM – I relocate to Ben’s empty bed, only to notice a faint smell of urine.
3:08 AM – Max cries out, finds me in Ben’s room, and lies on my face.
4:12 AM – The dog paces around. The house settles. Max starts playing with my hair.
5:50 AM – Jake’s alarm blares.
5:55 AM – The alarm goes off again.
6:00 AM – Still ringing.
6:05 AM – The alarm continues.
6:10 AM – It persists.
6:14 AM – Max is now demanding breakfast.
And so, I find myself wondering why I’m perpetually exhausted.
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Summary
The article humorously recounts a night in the life of a mother attempting to get some sleep amidst the chaos of children’s needs and distractions, highlighting the challenges many parents face.