It’s official: my kids have entered the phase where I am no longer considered the cool parent. Beyond the role of a human vending machine, my tweens seem to find me utterly embarrassing. I had heard the warnings from other moms before me, yet I secretly hoped I might escape this fate. However, the reality hit hard when I realized my kids are indeed mortified by my presence.
I fondly recall the days when my children clung to me as their sole source of comfort. Those days are long gone. Now, a simple text from a friend suffices to soothe their worries.
Whenever I must step foot into their school—an absolute tragedy in their eyes—I’m met with a list of strict instructions:
- Do not speak to anyone.
- Avoid making eye contact.
- Do not engage with my teacher.
- Absolutely no hugs or kisses.
- Do not introduce yourself to my classmates.
- Do not bring my lunch late.
- Avoid chatting with my friends.
- Do not interact with other parents.
How the tables have turned! It wasn’t that long ago when the requests were quite different:
- Can you volunteer in my class every day?
- Will you bring special treats for my classmates?
- Can you lead the math group?
- Will you chaperone all my field trips?
- Can you bring the new kittens for show and tell?
- Will you walk me to my classroom with a hug?
- Can you have lunch with me?
- Will you be a recess monitor?
Oh, to relive those glorious days of being the center of their universe!
I admit, though, I may have contributed to my own downfall. I’m the parent who waves dramatically and shouts “I love you!” from the car window. I’m the one belting out Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” a bit too enthusiastically during pick-up. I even show up unannounced just to catch a glimpse of them in class. My loud laughter and old yoga pants do not help my image, either.
The signs of my kids’ embarrassment are unmistakable: the eye rolls, the murmurs, and the avoidance of eye contact. The most crushing moment was when my son pretended he didn’t know me, leaving his teacher to ask who I was.
I must also acknowledge that my conversation topics can be a bit questionable in public. For instance, while waiting in line at school orientation, I shared my recent salon visit where I was advised to start waxing my arm hair. I noticed my daughter’s discomfort as she shifted away from me. “Mom, can we please NOT discuss your arm hair here?” she pleaded. Oops. Perhaps their concerns are justified, but still… I’m their mom, and they should be rushing to greet me with hugs and kisses, right? Wrong. It’s disheartening.
Despite this, I remain hopeful that this phase will pass and they’ll return to their senses.
On a positive note, today offered a glimmer of hope. My son surprised me with a sweet kiss on the cheek as he said goodbye—right in front of the school! I didn’t even have to prompt him. Plus, my daughter gave me a hug as she exited the car. YES! Maybe this mom with the questionable arm hair still has a fighting chance.
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Summary:
As parents, we often face the reality of our children finding us embarrassing, especially during the tween years. The transition from being their favorite person to an uncool figure can be tough. Despite moments of mortification and awkwardness, there are still glimmers of affection that remind us of the bond we share.