Updated: Aug. 21, 2015
Originally Published: Oct. 16, 2010
As I observed a new mother unwrap gift after gift at her baby shower, I found myself wishing to experience that moment once more. The anticipation of a monumental life change is a feeling that I will never again know. She stands at the threshold of two worlds: one of independence and the other of an unbreakable bond with her child. The thrill of embarking on this journey as a first-time parent is indescribable.
For a fleeting moment at the shower, I yearned for that excitement again—the thrill of uncharted territory, navigating unknown challenges, and the pride that comes from overcoming them. And the plethora of parenting products! Where were all these toys and gadgets when I was starting my own parenting journey?
Then, I recalled a particular incident at the pool. My daughter was about four or five months old when I decided to take her swimming solo for the first time. We were enjoying ourselves, splashing in the water, when I noticed the skin around her eyes becoming red and irritated. She began rubbing her eyes furiously and started to whimper. In my mind, this was an emergency. I was the parent, and all the warnings I had received during pregnancy suddenly felt relevant. It was time for action.
In this instance, action meant a full-blown panic attack. As I hurriedly packed our belongings and rushed to the car, I decided to call the pediatrician. The nurse’s calm tone felt misplaced. Clearly, she hadn’t grasped the severity of my daughter’s condition. Surely, she was having a severe allergic reaction or perhaps had contracted a water-borne illness that could result in blindness. Or was it cancer? Was this a cancer symptom? I insisted that I needed to bring her in immediately, and the nurse kindly agreed to fit us into their schedule.
However, during the drive, my anxiety heightened. Those rear-facing car seats are such a challenge! I couldn’t see my daughter, and the odd sounds she was making filled me with dread. What if she wasn’t breathing? In a fit of panic, I dialed 911.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“I’m on the side of the road, and I think my baby is having trouble breathing!”
“Okay, ma’am, is your baby turning blue?”
“No.”
“Ma’am…”
“Yes?”
“Ma’am, is that your baby crying very loudly in the background?”
“Yes, that’s her.”
“Ma’am, if your baby is crying, that means she’s breathing.”
In that moment, I recognized the need to rein in my fear. The situation was not as dire as I had imagined, but I believed the pediatrician would surely identify the problem and commend my prompt response.
“Doctor, I’m at a loss. Her eyes turned red suddenly, and she was crying. Is it a severe allergy? Should I have gone straight to the ER? Will this affect her eyesight? Oh, the horror! Will she ever be able to play the violin?”
“Looks like she just got a little sunscreen in her eyes. The redness is already subsiding. Consider using zinc oxide next time; it’s gentler on the skin.”
And this is exactly why I appreciate not being a first-time mom anymore. I no longer escalate situations to catastrophic proportions in a matter of seconds. Now it takes me a bit longer—about five minutes, perhaps—but I generally regain my rational perspective before needing to call 911.
Experience has taught me that genuine emergencies in parenting are rare, and it has provided me with a more reliable instinct to rely on. My novice intuition was plagued by thoughts of obscure diseases, freak accidents, and an exaggerated fear of danger lurking at every corner. I was clearly relying on an inexperienced gut feeling.
That expectant mother can have all the trendy baby gadgets. I will sit here, content with my lightweight purse, reassured by the knowledge that if my child is crying, she is certainly breathing. And I am equally confident that no matter which diaper the new mom chooses, it will soon be in need of a change.
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Summary:
Navigating parenthood as a first-time mom can be overwhelming, filled with anxiety and uncertainty. This article reflects on the moments of panic that often accompany the early stages of motherhood and highlights the importance of experience in managing those fears. As new parents embark on their journey, it’s essential to rely on trusted resources and maintain a perspective grounded in reality.