My partner and I never envisioned ourselves with a “large” family. If either of us had expressed a desire for this size during our courtship, the other would have likely reconsidered the relationship. Now, having embraced this life, we find it to be an extraordinary journey. Our family size fills us with joy, and we can’t imagine having one less child. As large families become less common, many people are curious about the dynamics involved. Here are 10 insights I have gained from raising a large family:
- Defining ‘Large’ is Personal
What constitutes a large family varies. For some, having three children is considered large, while for me, five children at home feels manageable—but I view seven or more as truly large. It’s all about perspective, much like how we perceive age—it’s always a decade older than we currently are. - Spontaneity is a Myth
With a larger family, spontaneity is nearly impossible. I once thought I could leave for a trip a day earlier without any hassle. However, it took us FIVE hours to finally depart due to last-minute packing and organizing. - Plan for Longer Travel Times
If the average drive takes four hours, expect it to take six to eight hours with kids. Frequent breaks for potty stops, feeding, and allowing them to stretch their legs add considerable time to your journey. Re-loading them into the vehicle is another time-consuming task. - Private Time is Rare
The number of children in the home affects the likelihood of uninterrupted time. Romantic moments? Good luck! If you can manage a quick moment during a laundry transfer, you’re doing well. A lock on the laundry room door can help. - Laundry is an Ongoing Task
The laundry never seems to end. I have yet to lose a child in the laundry room, but I can imagine it’s a real possibility. The mountains of unmatched socks are a persistent challenge. - Dreams Evolve
In the past, my dreams revolved around luxurious vacations. Now, I dream of industrial-sized appliances, like double washers and dryers, a spacious freezer, and soundproof rooms for every child. A large kitchen table for family meals is a priority too. - Grocery Expenses Can Be Daunting
The grocery budget can be overwhelming. With three boys at home, I sometimes think that having a farm to grow our own food, including raising cattle, might be the best solution once they reach their teenage years. - Gas Mileage is a Non-Issue
When it comes to transporting a large family, fuel efficiency takes a backseat. I have yet to find a reasonably priced vehicle that accommodates our family size and isn’t a fuel guzzler. - Establish Early Bedtimes
New acquaintances are often surprised to learn our kids have a 7:30 PM bedtime. This is essential for maintaining sanity, as the peace that follows bedtime is priceless. - Embrace the Noise and Chaos
It’s impossible to house so many people without a fair amount of noise and disorder. I’ve accepted that my home will never meet the standards of a magazine; it’s a lived-in space, and I’m perfectly okay with that.
As for the future, we’ll see what time has in store for our family.
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Summary
Raising a large family comes with unique challenges and joys, from redefining your concept of spontaneity to managing endless laundry and grocery bills. It requires careful planning and a willingness to embrace noise and chaos. Despite the hurdles, the experience is deeply rewarding and fulfilling.