Today, I had the opportunity to meet a new mother during a stroll through town, and I can’t shake the feeling that I didn’t convey everything I wanted to. Our schedules were a bit off, which added to the chaos of the day. I had consumed more caffeine than I should have, leaving my heart racing. It was a result of another sleepless night, partly due to my little one, but I acknowledge that I’m also not the best sleeper.
Our morning routine got disrupted when my baby took a longer nap than usual, making us miss our usual morning walk—the one we rely on to kickstart our lengthy summer days. Instead, we opted for an afternoon walk to the candy store, making several stops along the way for small chats and for my older son to pet a dog he saw. In hindsight, I’m grateful for the change in plans, as it led us to meet.
As we were nearing home, I noticed someone behind us. A quick glance revealed your bright orange double stroller. I waved, slightly embarrassed for my sudden turn, and kept walking, but then decided to call out, “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to stare; I was just curious about who was behind us.” As you caught up, I took a sip of my coffee and noticed the two small babies in your stroller—one peacefully sleeping and the other gazing at the world with striking blue eyes.
We exchanged pleasantries about our children—your twins and my one-year-old daughter along with my six-year-old son. In that moment, I felt a wave of relief realizing my “baby” was no longer a baby. While I cherish those early days, I remember how challenging they can be, and it was clear you were experiencing that struggle.
When I asked how you were doing, you shared that the walk felt like therapy. I should have mentioned that my daily walks serve as therapy for me, too. Instead, you opened up about your challenges with breastfeeding and how you recently stopped nursing your twins. I could see the emotion in your eyes as you brushed your hair back, describing the difficulties you faced. I listened intently, striving to convey understanding through my expressions—perhaps you were seeking validation or maybe just someone to share your thoughts with. I reassured you that despite how overwhelming it seemed, everything would ultimately be okay.
However, I left feeling like I could have said more, so here’s what I wish I had expressed:
Embrace the Challenges
Parenting is undeniably challenging. It’s a journey filled with unexpected hurdles that no one prepares you for. The love you feel for your children can sometimes feel like it might break you. Embrace the difficulties; it’s okay to feel that weight. I’ve been there, and while parenting hasn’t necessarily gotten easier, I’m learning to navigate my heart as it resides outside my body in my precious children.
Focus on What Matters
You’ve nurtured your twins; they are healthy, and that’s what truly matters. While it’s natural to feel disappointment about stopping breastfeeding, remember: what’s important is that they are being fed and cared for. I remember the bittersweet moment when I nursed my son for the last time. It left me with a sense of loss despite having my body back. I suspect you may be experiencing something similar, and I assure you that it does become easier with time.
Let Go of Guilt
Don’t let guilt weigh you down. If you’re feeling it, that’s normal, but try to release it. “Mom guilt” is something we all face; let’s support each other in overcoming it.
Look Forward to Joy
While it may seem overwhelming now, the challenging days will pave the way for joy. I saw you watching my son help my daughter walk down the sidewalk, and I could sense that you envisioned the joy that awaits. The incredible moments you will share with your children will far outweigh the difficulties.
Prioritize Self-Care
Be gentle with yourself; you’re doing the best you can, and that is enough. Keep taking those walks; fresh air can be incredibly restorative. I won’t advise you to nap while they do, as I found that suggestion unhelpful, but do prioritize self-care in whatever ways you can.
Let’s Walk Together
Finally, let’s keep walking together. I consume a lot of coffee, have a fondness for chocolate, and occasionally let out a swear, but those walks are my therapy, and I could use the company too.
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Summary
Meeting a new mother can be an opportunity to share understanding and support. Parenting is challenging, and it’s important to validate those feelings of struggle. Emphasizing the importance of self-care, community support, and the joy that comes from nurturing children can help new parents feel less isolated in their experiences.