When it comes to adoption, families often face a barrage of bewildering inquiries. Here are ten of the most outlandish questions that adoptive families, like the Millers, frequently hear.
- “Are you planning to tell the kids they are adopted?” It’s pretty clear that we’re white and our kids are black. If we didn’t mention their adoption, I’m certain they would figure it out!
- “Why didn’t her biological mother keep her? She’s so beautiful!” The reasons for adoption have absolutely nothing to do with looks. Our children were desired and loved by their biological parents. The circumstances surrounding their adoption? That’s private.
- “Aren’t you worried that an open adoption might lead the biological parents to try to reclaim them?” Not at all. Our adoptions were conducted ethically and legally. We opted for open adoption because it benefits our family, our children, and their biological parents.
- “What would you do if one of the kids’ birth parents showed up at your door?” We’d greet them warmly, invite them in for a drink, and have a conversation. Thanks for the odd question though!
- “Now that you’ve adopted, are you going to try for your own kids?” My kids are my own, thank you very much. No qualifiers are necessary or welcomed.
- “God bless you for rescuing those poor children. They are so fortunate to have you!” Our kids aren’t charity cases. They came from loving biological parents who, at that time, felt unable to care for them. We are honored to be their parents, and we consider ourselves the lucky ones!
- “Were his birth parents involved with drugs?” Are you serious? Because I’m definitely not going to engage with that question.
- “They are incredibly cute! Which country did they come from?” Actually, they’re from Missouri.
- “Are they full siblings or mixed?” My children aren’t a breed of dog or a coffee blend. They are individuals with their own thoughts and feelings.
- “Are they all really siblings?” Yes, they are! If you can see them bickering right now, that’s as real as it gets!
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In summary, adoptive families often confront strange and intrusive questions that highlight misunderstandings about adoption. By addressing these inquiries with clarity and grace, they can foster a better understanding of the adoption experience.