In the 1970s, my mother conducted an informal experiment with my brother and me, providing him with dolls and me with toy trucks, all in an effort to demonstrate that our play preferences were shaped by society rather than biology. She believed that our choices were not influenced by our natural inclinations. However, in our case, her hypothesis didn’t quite hold true. I found myself drawn to “girl” toys, while my brother quickly reclaimed his “boy” toys, rolling his eyes in the process.
While her methods lacked scientific rigor, she was onto something important. Fast forward 40 years, and my daughter has recently started to shy away from toys she deems “for boys.” From her viewpoint, it makes sense; traditionally “girl” items are often pink, frilly, and glittery, while “boy” items lean toward darker, more industrial designs. Every day, she’s bombarded with societal messages that push her toward “girl” products, which I find just as unappealing as my mother’s carob chips. Why are we still teaching our children to perceive the world in such binary terms? Must it always be princesses or trucks? I want both of my children to explore a wide range of interests without feeling constrained by gender stereotypes, and I feel particularly passionate about this for my daughter. Here are five strategies to empower our girls to embrace a broader spectrum of play:
1. Engage with Sports Together
It’s common to assume that boys are more interested in sports, especially in households where mothers may not share that enthusiasm. Recently, while watching the Women’s World Cup, my daughter exclaimed, “Are they really all girls?” Encourage family members to involve your daughters in sports commentary, just as they do with sons. This not only broadens their interests but also enriches their vocabulary, even if it includes a few colorful phrases.
2. Choose Gender-Neutral Clothing
When shopping for clothes, steer clear of pink frills and overly feminine designs. Brands like Primary offer stylish options in a variety of colors that don’t scream “gendered.” Everything is also reasonably priced, making it easier to adopt this approach.
3. Introduce Coding Early
In today’s world, technology and programming are essential skills. Encourage your daughters to explore coding through organizations like Girls Who Code or local camps. The future should not be limited to just Barbie-themed apps!
4. Foster Cross-Gender Friendships
Encourage friendships that cross gender lines, and consider avoiding all-girl birthday parties. My son has a close friendship with a girl he met at age four, and we actively nurture that bond. While they may drift apart as they grow, there’s no reason they can’t remain friends.
5. Offer Diverse Reading Material
Provide your daughters with a range of books that include titles like Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Big Nate, and Tintin, as well as comic books and graphic novels. Just because a book features pink and sparkles doesn’t mean it’s the only option available. For older girls, reading about boys can be framed as a way to better understand them.
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Summary
In a society where gender roles are often rigidly defined, it’s crucial for parents to encourage their daughters to explore interests beyond traditional norms. By engaging in sports, choosing neutral clothing, promoting coding skills, fostering cross-gender friendships, and providing diverse reading options, parents can help their daughters break free from stereotypes and embrace a wider range of experiences.