Yesterday morning, I made the unexpected decision to bring all four of my children along to my psychiatrist appointment. Typically, I reserve this time for myself, much like I did during my OB checkups when I was pregnant. It’s a rare opportunity to focus solely on my mental health without the distractions of parenting. I’ve always viewed these appointments as a small retreat where I could receive care and attention without the added responsibility of ensuring my kids behave in a formal setting.
To be completely honest, I was also apprehensive about explaining to my children why I visit the psychiatrist. Questions like “Will I need to come here too, Mom?” or “Why do you keep coming if you feel fine?” filled me with dread. I didn’t want to engage in those conversations, as they made me feel vulnerable and ashamed.
Yes, I felt ashamed—despite being someone who openly discusses living with Bipolar Disorder and advocates for breaking the stigma surrounding mental illness. I’ve participated in public interviews about my experiences and co-edited a bestselling mental health anthology, yet I still feared how my children might perceive me. I didn’t want them to see me as someone who is perpetually broken, especially knowing that I would need to attend these appointments for the foreseeable future. Even though I am grateful for the medication that helps me, it still triggers a feeling of inadequacy, as if I cannot achieve happiness without it.
This week, I realized that my reluctance to bring my children stemmed not only from the inconvenience but also from a desire to shield them from the more uncomfortable aspects of my mental health journey—even though we’ve talked about my condition openly. When childcare options fell through and time was running short, I was faced with a choice: cancel my appointment or bring the whole family along.
Perspective is crucial in life, especially when managing a mental illness. While the significant cancellation fee certainly influenced my decision, it was not the only reason. I understood that to truly combat the stigma associated with mental health, I needed to demonstrate this part of my disorder management to my children. By doing so, I could normalize the experience for them, should they ever need to seek help from a mental health professional. It also showed them that everyday people seek care and guidance from psychiatrists.
My children were surprisingly well-behaved. They held doors open for others in the waiting room and engaged in polite conversation, just as they would at any doctor’s office. It’s important to challenge the negative stereotypes often associated with mental illness. By demonstrating that mental health management can be a normal part of life, we can help future generations understand its significance.
They accompanied me into the nurse’s room for my weight check and medication adjustments, even chiming in when she asked about my sleep patterns and irritability—talk about candid moments! In the actual consultation, they expressed their delight at the comfortable seating and answered questions posed by the psychiatrist. Their innocent hugs before we left conveyed warmth and acceptance, which is vital in fostering understanding around mental health.
I wanted them to recognize that anyone seeking help for mental health issues is courageously addressing their struggles. By unmasking the reality of mental illness, we contribute to diminishing stigma. I also considered how their presence might impact other patients in the office. The cheerful energy of well-mannered children helped alleviate the clinical atmosphere, allowing for a more relaxed environment. I made sure they maintained good manners, contributing to a sense of community in a place often filled with anxiety.
Many individuals choose to wait in their cars until the last possible moment before entering a mental health clinic, hoping to avoid being seen. This behavior starkly contrasts with the experience of visiting general medical offices. There’s no shame in seeking help for physical ailments, and we must strive to create similar openness regarding mental health.
I hope that anyone navigating the challenges of mental illness feels encouraged to have honest conversations with their loved ones. By doing so, you not only foster understanding but also demonstrate that seeking help is acceptable, empowering both yourself and those around you.
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Summary
In conclusion, the decision to bring my children to my psychiatrist appointment proved to be a pivotal moment in addressing the stigma surrounding mental illness. By involving them in my mental health journey, I aimed to normalize the experience and promote understanding. It’s vital for individuals living with mental illness to openly discuss their experiences with loved ones, fostering a supportive environment for both themselves and future generations.