Every parent knows the challenges that arise when illness strikes. The common cold can quickly escalate from a minor inconvenience to a serious disruption, particularly when children are involved. Just when you think you can take a moment to rest, your child decides it’s the perfect time to attempt making their own lunch—complete with sharp utensils.
As you find yourself incapacitated on the couch, contemplating how much dignity you’re willing to sacrifice in exchange for a tissue, the chaos is just beginning. Here are 30 things that often occur when a parent is unwell:
- You may go without a shower for several days.
- Using your shirt as a tissue becomes a reality at least once.
- Your children will suddenly become inexplicably loud.
- The volume levels could rival a rock concert.
- You might deplete your supply of DayQuil, eyeing the NyQuil with desperation.
- Your kids will want to binge-watch cartoons.
- Surprisingly, you might find yourself wanting the same.
- After a few hours, you’ll have deep existential thoughts about The Man in the Yellow Hat.
- You’ll lack the appetite, but your kids will be ravenous.
- You’ll settle on a diet of bread and jam for everyone.
- Until you realize you’re out of jam, and cooking becomes necessary.
- Oh dear.
- A sore throat will render speaking or shouting impossible.
- That’s when one child persuades the other to go on an expedition to the toilet.
- You’ll spend precious time disinfecting the bathroom.
- Then it hits you: lunch was forgotten.
- The macaroni you were cooking has turned into unidentifiable mush. Start from scratch.
- Your partner calls to say they will be late from work.
- Anger surges, prompting you to search “consequences of spiking dinner with laxatives.”
- You’ll run out of tissues—and juice.
- After loading the kids into the car, you’ll head to the grocery store for essentials.
- A hefty $87 later, you collapse back home with your children and bags.
- You suddenly realize you’ve been out in public wearing the same shirt you used to wipe your nose.
- You call your mom, but only reach her voicemail. You leave a desperate message for assistance.
- It dawns on you that no one has eaten lunch.
- Since dinner is around the corner, you decide to order pizza.
- You switch PBS back on, getting your kids excited about making a pillow fort.
- You curl up on the couch with a box of popsicles, feeling a total loss of motivation.
- The pizza delivery finally arrives!
- A couple of hours later, the house is a disaster, the kids are asleep on the floor, and you savor the last slice of cold pizza just as your partner walks through the door.
Once the house is restored to some semblance of order, you slip into your comfiest yoga pants and retreat to bed, dreaming of a peaceful getaway with ample cold and flu remedies.
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Summary
Being a parent while sick can lead to chaos, from forgotten meals to loud children. The struggle of maintaining household order while managing your own health is relatable to many caregivers.