When I dropped my 5-year-old off at school this morning, he turned away from me, dismissing my attempt for a kiss. His body language spoke volumes: a casual shrug that seemed to say, “I’m beyond that now.” In that moment, my heart sank. Is it happening already? I thought to myself.
“I’m not ready for this,” I whispered as I walked away, wishing for just a little more time. Time to play, to share laughter, and to relish these precious moments. I often playfully tell my children to remain small forever. They giggle and respond, “Mom, we can’t! We’re growing!” I join in their laughter, but inside, I’m overwhelmed with the wish that life could freeze in this moment.
I know I’ll miss these days when they’ve passed. The affectionate kisses, the warm cuddles, and the tiny hands clasped in mine will all be memories. I will long for the innocent drawings and the quirky gifts—like rocks or empty cans of shaving cream—presented as if they were treasures. I’ll miss their laughter, their imaginative play, and the sweet sound of their voices. I’ll miss holding them close and feeling their warmth.
However, there are aspects of parenthood that I won’t mourn. The tantrums, the constant whining, the nightly battles over bedtime, and the inevitable mess that follows each meal are certainly not things I will look back on fondly. My son’s peculiar habit of turning dinner into an explosion of food is simply exhausting. Yet, I would gladly endure all of that chaos just to have him snuggle against me at the end of the day and express his love, or to see my daughter beam up at me with her joy.
Despite my feelings, time continues its relentless march forward. Children grow up, and we ourselves age. Life unfolds at an unyielding pace, and there’s nothing I can do to halt it or keep my kids in their small, innocent states. All I can do is immerse myself in the present, cherishing each day so that when they do grow and leave, they remain in my heart, forever little.
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Summary
The bittersweet nature of parenting is explored in this piece, highlighting the desire to keep children small while recognizing the inevitability of their growth. It reflects on the joys and challenges of early childhood and the longing for more time with loved ones.