Navigating the teenage years can be a complex journey for parents, especially when it comes to the delicate balance of embarrassment and support. As a parent, I often find myself in situations where my actions unintentionally cause my 13-year-old daughter, Mia, to cringe. The other day, while driving, I was caught up in the moment, listening to my favorite classic rock band, Kansas. “Carry On My Wayward Son” was blaring, and Mia, as she hopped into the car, immediately declared, “I can hear your music from a mile away! You’re so embarrassing!”
It’s curious how quickly the tides turn. When Mia was younger, she delighted in my goofy antics. I fondly recall our pre-K drives filled with spirited sing-alongs to cheerful tunes. But a pivotal moment shifted everything. I remember a grocery store incident when she was 10. Lost in a Lionel Richie song, I began to sing and dance, only to be interrupted by her mortified plea, “STOP THAT!” It was in that moment I realized that my once-fun persona had become the source of her embarrassment.
As Mia transitioned deeper into her teenage years, her self-consciousness intensified. Any small act of mine—whether it was a simple smile or a playful gesture—could draw her ire. Rather than retreating in defeat, my partner and I decided to embrace our role as the “embarrassing parents.” It became our mission to find joy in the small moments that made her cringe.
We all have our moments of shame, and I can’t forget Mia’s childhood outbursts, like the time she loudly chastised a smoker outside a restaurant or belted out lines from “Grease” in the library, blissfully unaware of the eyes upon us. Now, it’s our turn to relish in her discomfort, and surprisingly, it’s a lot easier than expected. A simple use of her childhood nickname, Mia-loo, or showing up at school in sweatpants can send her into a spiral of embarrassment.
Recently, while driving home from dinner, we found ourselves grooving to Michael Jackson’s “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’.” My partner and I couldn’t help but dance in our seats, despite Mia’s desperate pleas to stop. We reveled in the moment, ignoring her protests as we turned our car into a mini-concert. Even when another car pulled up beside us, we continued to perform, much to Mia’s dismay.
As we rolled into our driveway, she stormed off, clearly upset, while we continued to sing. It was a playful reminder that the cycle of embarrassment is a two-way street.
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In summary, embracing the role of the “embarrassing parent” can be a source of joy, bonding, and laughter. As our children grow, these lighthearted moments of mortification can help us navigate the sometimes tumultuous teenage years with a smile.