In our family, we often find ourselves in what I refer to as a state of “love-rich, cash-poor.” In the past, when we were both abundant in love and finances, we had assistance with household chores. However, those days are long behind us. Now, the responsibility of maintaining a clean home falls solely on our shoulders, resulting in a rather chaotic living environment. Enter any room, and you’re likely to be greeted by an assortment of dust, misplaced socks, toys strewn about, snack wrappers, and the occasional stubborn dirt patch. While we strive to keep things tidy, the reality is that a messy home is far less daunting than issues like hungry children, disappointing school reports, and job insecurity. Consequently, we’ve adapted by employing a sort of selective vision, ignoring visual clutter while staying vigilant to avoid tripping over Lego pieces and action figures at night. We also find camaraderie with families who share—or exceed—our level of housekeeping skills, which is comforting and free of judgment.
There are certain occasions when we dedicate a weekend to a thorough cleaning session. You guessed it: birthday celebrations, holiday gatherings, and any event that brings guests who don’t typically visit. In other scenarios, visits from family and close friends result in a hurried attempt to make the space presentable, usually involving a quick wipe-down of the bathroom and a sweep of the floor. We prefer these visits to occur in the evening, as mood lighting cleverly conceals both wrinkles and dirt. There is a local establishment, The Cozy Pasta House, that excels in this strategy—try visiting during daylight hours, and you’ll understand what I mean.
To clarify, we’re not living in filth; it’s not as if we have rats climbing the curtains. The children are still comfortable inviting friends over, and there is ample floor visible beneath the toys. However, we certainly aren’t what one would call neat-freaks. Despite our relaxed attitude toward cleanliness, I occasionally find myself appalled by the various manifestations of “dirtiness” around our home. Take, for instance, the time we decided to sell our house. On moving day, upon removing the bunk beds, we discovered a wall adorned with dried, crusty remnants of what can only be described as a child’s unfortunate habit—yes, boogers—alongside the bed of our son, Jake. This shocking revelation not only repulsed us but also left us astonished to learn that the culprit was, in fact, our son, who later confessed that it was his brother, Max, who had planted the evidence.
Less revolting but still unsettling, I recently noticed a long-ignored dirty spot. It appeared to have been there for months, unnoticed by us all. I’m referring to the bannister in our kitchenette that overlooks the sunken living room. From my seat at the computer in the living room, I can see the entire kitchen floor layout. However, I seldom look up at the bannister, where my five-year-old often leans to watch television while eating—and regrettably, sometimes uses it as an impromptu tissue. Sigh. These small discoveries drive me a little nuts. In fleeting moments, I find myself daydreaming about how wonderful it would be if the kids picked up after themselves, deposited dirty clothes in the hamper, washed their hands after play, and emptied the sand from their shoes into the trash rather than scattering it across the floor. Yet, I quickly remember that the delightful chaos they bring is partly due to their lack of concern for cleanliness. How could a child so meticulous about tidiness create a go-cart from a soda tin and a tennis ball hopper? The same child who avoids sand indoors is unlikely to don a Zorro costume for three consecutive months.
So, with a resigned acceptance of our reality, I retrieve the magic eraser and make my way to the bannister. Before getting to work, though, I bring Max over to show him the evidence of our home’s dirty hands. He gazes at it with his big brown eyes and solemnly vows to wash his hands next time… with soap. For more insights on home insemination, check out this post. If you’re seeking authoritative information, Make A Mom offers excellent resources, and for in-depth understanding, Cleveland Clinic is a great reference.
In summary, while our household may not be the picture of cleanliness, the love and laughter we share far outweigh the mess. Embracing the chaos is part of the journey of raising a family, and sometimes, it’s the little messes that remind us of the joy of living fully.