Dear Former Spouse,
As I stood in the driveway yesterday, awaiting the scheduled time to pick up our children, it struck me: I haven’t seen you in your most vulnerable state in nearly two years. My expression must have revealed the relief I felt at this realization, and I regret that I lied about being preoccupied with the dog. The truth is, I was preoccupied with thoughts of you.
In the spirit of honesty, which I believe is crucial now, especially given our past struggles with communication, I want to express a few things that have weighed on my mind.
Apologies and Reflections
First and foremost, I want to apologize. I regret that we made promises of ‘forever’ without truly understanding what that commitment entailed. If there’s blame to be assigned for that naiveté, it lies beyond us—how could we have known? We were young, inexperienced, and still evolving when we exchanged our vows. We didn’t foresee the divergence in our paths.
Thank you for the experiences we shared. Thank you for the ring and the name you entrusted to me. Thank you for teaching me invaluable lessons in resilience and patience. Most importantly, thank you for our children, who carry pieces of you in their laughter and smiles. They are the greatest gifts I could ever receive.
Thank you for fighting for our relationship, and for ultimately having the courage to let me go when I expressed my need for change.
Lingering Questions
While our Divorce Agreement outlines visitation schedules and financial responsibilities regarding the children’s needs—like braces—there remain unaddressed questions that linger between us. Each encounter is tinged with unspoken thoughts, the kind that feel too awkward to voice.
Some memories may induce sadness and take us back to happier times. Do you recall those first nights with our daughter, when we marveled at her tiny hands and perfect little fingernails that we created together? When you hear our wedding song, do you skip past it, or do you allow yourself a moment to remember the joy we shared? Have you moved on from that song, afraid it might lead you back to a chapter you’ve closed?
I often ponder your current life. Are you in love? Is someone loving you in return? Is your intimacy fulfilling? Has your new partner brought you the joy that I could not? Do you question the love we shared, wondering if you truly understood what love meant when you were with me?
Navigating Our New Dynamic
There are also questions about our new dynamic. When is it appropriate to embrace you? At school events or during significant milestones like graduations? At somber gatherings like a funeral, should I extend a hand or simply nod and walk away?
Our relationship has transformed, and I accept that. We aren’t connected on social media, and our communication is reduced to brief texts filled with abbreviations, like teenagers who have forgotten the art of heartfelt correspondence.
Letting Go of Anger
Lastly, I want to convey that I’ve let go of my anger. Through therapy and self-reflection, I’ve learned to release my past grievances. I sense, however, that you still carry some resentment; I can see it in your expression when we meet.
This leads me to my final question: Do you foresee a time when you might forgive me?
Warm regards,
Your Former Spouse
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Summary
This open letter reflects on the author’s past marriage, expressing regret, gratitude, and a desire for reconciliation. It highlights the complexities of navigating a post-divorce relationship while acknowledging the shared history and the evolving nature of their connection.