The phrase “given up” in the context of adoption can be quite distressing. It suggests a lack of value or commitment, particularly regarding a child’s wellbeing. In my experience, the term does not accurately reflect the reality of adoption, especially in the case of my son, Noah. In discussions about adoption, I prefer to avoid terms that imply abandonment.
Understanding Birth Parents’ Choices
People often inquire, “Why did his birth parents give Noah up?” My response is always, “They didn’t.” The reasons why birth parents may choose not to parent are varied and complex. Some decisions stem from tragic circumstances, while others may seem selfish. However, many choices are profoundly selfless. Birth parents frequently make the incredibly tough decision to prioritize their child’s future over their own feelings. This requires immense strength and courage, and to simplify that journey with phrases like “given up” overlooks their sacrifice.
Protecting Noah’s Understanding
It is unrealistic to expect that I can completely shield Noah from misunderstandings or hurtful comments, but I strive to protect him from ever questioning why he was “given up.” I understand that he was not, and I want to ensure he knows that his birth parents made a difficult choice out of love.
Additional Resources
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Conclusion
In summary, the terminology surrounding adoption is important and should be approached with sensitivity. Birth parents often make profound sacrifices in the best interests of their children, and it’s essential to recognize their intentions rather than reduce their choices to phrases that imply abandonment.