Birthdays are special occasions that invite reflection and celebration. As I approach my 38th year, I’ve taken the time to curate a thoughtful list of items and experiences I truly wish to receive. While my loved ones often seek a list to guide their gift-giving, this year, I’ve crafted an extensive collection of wishes that range from practical to whimsical, designed to bring joy and ease into my life.
- A dependable individual to back up my phone weekly, so when I accidentally drop it in an unexpected place, I won’t face the dreaded question, “What do you mean you didn’t back it up?”
- A solution for my knees and joints, so they don’t sound like a historical battle every time I crouch or tackle stairs.
- The ability to merge into traffic without the need for frantic head movements that leave me sore and dizzy.
- An end to unexpected breakouts.
- A peaceful bedtime routine where my daughter simply gives me a thumbs-up, rolls over into her stuffed animals, and drifts off to sleep without lengthy storytelling.
- Self-cleaning pillowcases, because laundry day often slips my mind. There’s nothing worse than the unpleasant surprise of an unwashed pillow at the end of a long day.
- A naturally fuller bust—just a modest B cup would suffice, without the need for surgery or pregnancy.
- A lipstick formula that stays put, avoiding the clown-like smears that often occur.
- Cheese that has zero calories; I’m willing to take a slight risk for this indulgence.
- A complete cessation of high school nightmares.
- Scented candles that can elevate the cleanliness of my home by at least 56 percent.
- A robotic device that effectively picks up glitter and crumbs, which are the primary remnants of my daughter’s creative endeavors.
- An ID check every time I buy alcohol, allowing me to feel youthful and appreciated, even if it is mildly inconvenient.
- More reality shows focused on men in the nude fixing household issues.
- An alarm feature that alerts me to upcoming “teachable moments” with my daughter.
- A greater number of full-body hugs, as I genuinely enjoy that connection. Please, no premature releases.
- An hour to myself in a bouncy castle—just in case of any unforeseen accidents.
- A bubble bath experience devoid of any random hair floating by.
- Two uninterrupted bathroom breaks, up to 30 minutes each, for some much-needed alone time.
- An app that keeps track of upcoming birthdays, ensuring I always appear thoughtful and generous.
- The power to cure minor ailments with a simple kiss.
- Three pairs of jeans that flatter me, even during my less-than-ideal eating periods.
- The courage to answer unknown numbers without hesitation.
- The ability to respond perfectly when faced with unkind remarks.
- A signature scent that is so captivating it makes people stop and want to engage with me.
- The capacity to enjoy multiple glasses of wine without regretting it the next day.
- A complete absence of gray hair anywhere on my body.
- Cheese stick packaging that doesn’t require a degree in engineering to open.
- An impromptu weekend getaway with my husband—no camping, please.
- An abundance of salted caramel treats.
- The talent to apply eyeliner flawlessly, avoiding any resemblance to a child’s art project.
- A service for school drop-offs and pickups that accepts payment in unwrapped cheese sticks.
- Restricted access to Instagram during the two hours leading up to bedtime to avoid mindless scrolling.
- A temporary halt to the need for dinner prep (this may be a bigger request than the fuller bust).
- Microwave popcorn that provides a balanced ratio of popped kernels to unpopped ones.
- Skin that adapts to seasonal changes without becoming excessively dry.
- A complete lack of crow’s feet.
- For all my loved ones to enjoy longevity, as I can’t bear the thought of their absence in my life.
While this list may seem extensive, I believe it reflects a deep desire for both practicality and joy in my life as I navigate through my 38th year. I’m open to adaptability, such as accepting just one uninterrupted bathroom visit, provided I can bring along my phone, snacks, and a good book without a time constraint.
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In summary, this list is a blend of whimsical desires and practical needs, marking an important milestone in my life.