As I read her message, I could sense something significant was unfolding. “Can I call?” she asked. “Of course,” I replied. When the call came through, her usually bright and cheerful voice crumbled, giving way to heartbreaking sobs. My heart felt as though it had been cleaved in two.
Navigating friendships becomes increasingly challenging after motherhood, doesn’t it? You find yourself making connections with other mothers—those of your child’s schoolmates—hoping to endure shared school events and birthday celebrations. These connections often resemble what I refer to as “work friendships.” They may not be the friendships you would actively choose, but they’re the ones you find yourself with. You learn to appreciate the company you keep.
Yet, something feels amiss. What about genuine friendships? Playdates often feel like awkward first dates, soccer games resemble speed dating sessions, and striking up a rapport with someone you connect with feels like a race against time to secure that future mani/pedi buddy.
Today, mothers have access to a new “social scene” for building friendships—the internet. Virtual connections through Facebook groups and other online platforms can feel authentic, heartfelt, and sometimes even closer than those in-person friendships.
But are these digital relationships truly “real”? I had always thought they were somehow less significant than my offline friendships, or at the very least, different. My journey in the online friendship landscape began with AOL Messenger—remember the dial-up struggles?
One online friend, whom I had the fortune to meet in real life, has become someone I hold dear. She embodies generosity unlike anyone I’ve encountered, radiating kindness and warmth. Her laughter is infectious, and she has an innate ability to draw people to her. Despite facing her own challenges, she uses her experiences to uplift others. I genuinely feel privileged to call her my friend.
However, since our connection primarily existed in the digital realm, I didn’t fully grasp the depth of our friendship until she reached out, distressed and in need of support. This was the moment when our relationship transcended the virtual.
When I heard her tearful voice, I was thrown off balance. I’m accustomed to seeing her as strong and composed. I usually play the role of a problem-solver, ready with suggestions to mend what’s broken. But this time, I felt helpless. I wasn’t physically present, unfamiliar with the context of her struggles. Initially, I thought she required more than just an “online friend.” But soon, it dawned on me that she already regarded me as more than that, or she wouldn’t have reached out.
In that moment, I did what I could: I listened. She needed to express her feelings and be acknowledged. I hoped my presence, even from afar, offered her some comfort. As she has done countless times, she faced her challenges with grace and resilience, reminding me of why I admire her so much.
Our online friendship has gained validation; we’ve crossed a threshold into a deeper connection. In the realm of relationships, this feels akin to taking a significant step forward. We are now friends bound to endure for a long time.
This experience has taught me that the connections we forge online are indeed real. The absence of in-person meetings does not diminish their authenticity. I am grateful that she reached out, shaking me from my routine. I’m thankful I was able to be there for her, even if only in a virtual capacity.
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In summary, friendships formed in the digital landscape are just as valid and impactful as those developed in person. While physical presence can enhance these connections, the emotional bonds we create online hold their own significance.