Recently, I celebrated my 40th birthday, and despite what you might expect, I didn’t suddenly feel old. My knees didn’t buckle, I didn’t wake up with a stiff neck, and I certainly didn’t sign up for early morning water aerobics.
In our culture, turning 40 is often seen as a significant milestone, marking the onset of midlife. It’s a time when many start to reflect and realize that losing those extra pounds may not be as easy as it was at 22. We may start to notice aches and pains that seem more persistent, often fearing they could become permanent. However, I disagree with the prevailing sentiment that 40 signifies being old. It certainly does not mean that my youthful days are behind me, nor that I should resign myself to a future filled with orthopedic footwear and frequent visits to the doctor.
I’ve observed a troubling trend among some of my friends, who seem to accept every minor ailment, weight gain, or insecurity as an unavoidable aspect of aging. Their common refrain, “Well, we’re 40,” has become a catch-all response to any discomfort, akin to the resigned phrase, “It is what it is.” This perspective suggests that there’s nothing left to do but settle into a recliner and await the arrival of that AARP membership card.
I find this attitude somewhat misguided. Yes, reaching this milestone can be challenging—it often feels like a threshold between youth and the later stages of life. When I tell my younger colleagues that I’m 40, I can see their expressions shift, a fleeting look of shock before they assure me that their parents are not much older. Aging is indeed a reality, but does turning 40 really mean we should start acting like we’re well past our prime?
In our twenties, we often felt stuck between wanting to be taken seriously and feeling too inexperienced to be considered adults. For many of us, we’ve actually been navigating adulthood for some time—perhaps since buying our first car, tying the knot, or becoming parents. It seems that adulthood has become so familiar that we’re inadvertently rushing toward the next phase—old age—before it’s truly upon us. Sometimes, I think my peers are embracing this older identity as a means of solidarity or an excuse for the physical changes we’ve noticed.
It’s true that my knee may ache if I skip exercise for a few days, but I’ve been dealing with that since my mid-thirties. I spotted my first grey hair at 27, and while I find it harder to shed pounds now, I’ve always struggled with weight loss. However, I’ve also experienced positive changes in the last year. I discovered a hairstyle that I love, and I’ve found a new passion for exercise through barre classes and focused workouts. I’m enjoying life more than ever, with deeper connections and a sense of fulfillment. I’ve even learned to dress in a way that flatters my figure, making me feel more attractive than I have in years.
I understand that some may read this and think, “Good for her,” or “She’s in denial.” I acknowledge that there are challenges that come with being 40, but I don’t attribute them solely to age. Yes, changes are occurring, but they are also a natural part of life’s progression. Instead of succumbing to the notion that 40 is a slippery slope toward decline, let’s recognize that it can also be a time of empowerment and growth. After all, many successful and vibrant individuals, like celebrities who are also 40, prove that this age can be just the beginning.
Water aerobics does sound kind of fun, though.
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In summary, turning 40 doesn’t mean the end of vitality or joy in life. It can be a time of self-discovery, new experiences, and deeper connections, challenging the stereotypes associated with aging. Instead of viewing this milestone as a decline, we should embrace the opportunities for growth and fulfillment that lie ahead.