As I prepare for my visit to my daughter, Emily, in Portland, I find it difficult to grasp that she has graduated from college and is stepping into the world on her own. Packing for the trip, I am flooded with memories of her childhood, and I can’t help but feel emotional about how quickly the years have flown by. How is she already 22?
This reflection brings to mind one of my most significant parenting experiences, prompting me to stand a bit taller and dry my eyes. When Emily was in first or second grade, we found ourselves in the kitchen after dinner. She was incessantly mentioning a Shih Tzu, relishing the fact that she could cleverly substitute the word “shit” with it.
After hearing “Shih Tzu” repeatedly, I reached my limit.
Me: That’s enough, Emily. Please stop.
Emily: Stop what? Stop saying “Shih Tzu”?
Me: Yes, no more.
Emily: No more saying “Shih Tzu”?
Me: If you say it one more time, you’ll be going to bed at 8:30.
At this point, my older son, Jake, who was two years her senior, began to take notice.
Emily: (giggling) You can’t make me go to bed at 8:30.
Jake’s eyes widened as the atmosphere thickened with tension.
Me: I can and I will, Emily. Don’t test me.
In that moment, I realized I had often failed to enforce my own rules. My children were aware that their privileges were largely intact, and I had never truly followed through on my threats. I was hesitant to be the “mean mom.”
Emily: You mean don’t test you by saying “Shih Tzu” again?
Time seemed to freeze. Emily appeared to be dancing with amusement, while Jake observed me closely, and I felt a bead of sweat form. Neither child believed I would follow through, and honestly, neither did I.
In that crucial instant, I recognized the weight of my parenting journey. I had the opportunity to teach my children that their actions bear consequences, and that my words—threats or promises—were valid. I noticed Jake subtly nodding.
Me: Emily, you are going to bed at 8:30.
Emily: You don’t mean it. I promise I won’t say it again.
Me: I absolutely mean it. You received ample warnings, and you chose to disregard them.
Emily: (sobbing) I can’t believe you’re making me go to bed at 8:30!
I glanced at Jake, who wore a huge grin. “Good job, Mom,” he said. “I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”
I learned an invaluable lesson that evening. It was a moment of pride for me as a parent, for I demonstrated to all of us the importance of consistency and accountability. After that day, I became a more reliable parent, and my children started to take my words seriously.
Ironically, Emily now works with dogs, specializing in obedience training. When I visit her and she shares insights about her job, I know she’ll emphasize the critical nature of consistency and follow-through. Clearly, the lesson resonated.
In summary, this experience underscores the vital role of follow-through in parenting. It teaches not only the children but also the parent about the importance of maintaining one’s word, fostering responsibility, and ensuring that actions have consequences. For more insights on parenting and related topics, visit this blog post, or check out Make a Mom for authoritative resources on home insemination. Additionally, Kindbody offers excellent information for those navigating pregnancy.