Recently, I encountered a conflict with a friend that escalated into one of those exasperating arguments where you’re shouting, “Why won’t you LISTEN?” and your (soon-to-be-ex) friend is interrupting and twisting your words to make you seem unreasonable. The conversation devolves into a chaotic exchange of hurtful accusations, with both parties raising their voices, and the only way to end it seems to be hanging up the phone.
But now there’s a new option. Introducing “Ship Your Enemies Glitter,” a service that, for just $9.99, will send a packet of glitter to anyone, anywhere. I wholeheartedly endorse this creative approach. When it comes to delivering the final blow during a disagreement, nothing beats sending your foe a small envelope of what this service cheekily refers to as “the herpes of the craft world.” Instead of slamming down the phone in frustration or unfriending someone online, why not claim victory by ensuring that the person who wronged you will be finding sparkly remnants in their home for months to come?
The service even promises to include an anonymous message within the glitter, explaining why the recipient is receiving this delightful surprise—mine would probably read something like, “I’m sending this because you are a tremendous jerk and we are no longer friends.” This is an excellent solution for those who struggle to express their frustrations directly. A glitter bomb is straightforward, poetic, and undeniably hostile, yet with a whimsical twist. At $9.99, it may seem pricey for a bit of glitter, but it’s the perfect cost for a clever and memorable victory.
To my adversaries, consider this a friendly warning.
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In summary, sending glitter to someone you dislike is a humorous and crafty way to express your feelings without resorting to traditional confrontational methods. It serves as a reminder that sometimes, creativity can be a powerful tool in resolving conflicts.