I vividly recall munching on Cheetos after school while watching a vintage Enjoli perfume commercial. It was the ’80s, a time when I reveled in being a girl and adored perfume, yet I found that ad utterly absurd. The woman in it flaunted her perfect Farrah Fawcett-esque hair, singing about bringing home the bacon, cooking it up, and then pleasing her partner—all while juggling kids and bedtime routines. My first thought? Where was her partner while she was running herself ragged?
Even at a young age, I questioned why she seemed so thrilled with her life. Honestly, it looked exhausting. When did she get to have fun?
Don’t misunderstand me—I have immense respect for women. We can achieve anything we set our minds to, and if someone wants to be that 24/7 wonder woman, good for them! But I know I’m not cut from that cloth.
I have limits, and I refuse to lead a life centered on making everyone else happy all the time. That’s not my job. Can we bring home the bacon? Absolutely. Women work just as hard (if not harder) than men and often earn significantly less—between 55 to 79 cents for every dollar a man makes, depending on race.
Can we whip up a meal when we get home? Of course! We can sizzle bacon like pros. But I prefer to do that only part of the time—55% to 79% of the time feels about right. Some nights, I kick back, order sushi, and enjoy it right from the container. Other times, I declare it “whatever” night (translation: eat whatever you can scrounge up), and honestly? That makes us all happy—especially me.
When it comes to parenting, I can handle it all—even with my hands tied behind my back—but if there’s any hope of having energy left for my partner later, I’m going to need some help. My husband is a parent too, and sharing responsibilities isn’t babysitting or “helping out.” We made the choice to raise kids together, so we both need to pull our weight.
I’ve tried to be that woman who does it all, but it only led to resentment and a bad case of “I don’t want to live my life this way because I matter too.” I realized I’d rather be content than have someone ask, “How do you do it all?” The answer? Self-neglect—that’s how. Just because you can be the 24/7 woman, doesn’t mean you have to be.
I know that commercial aired decades ago, and much has changed since then, but some pressures remain. Women still face the expectation to do it all: maintain a career, care for a family, keep a tidy home, ensure that kids excel academically and athletically, volunteer their time, and embody the ideal woman, running around doing it flawlessly. But let’s face it: that woman doesn’t exist.
Deep down, we understand this. We can’t juggle so much without burning out. Many of us feel overwhelmed, moody, and exhausted, and it’s essential to recognize that we’re not alone in this struggle. It’s not you; it’s the unrealistic standards we place on ourselves, crafting a life reminiscent of those manufactured Stepford wives, which is frankly exhausting.
We can excel at a few things, but trying to do everything often leads to chaos—not just for ourselves, but for our families too. If we fall apart, the whole ship sinks faster than you can say, “Bring home the bacon.”
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In summary, while we strive to balance various aspects of our lives, it’s crucial to recognize our limits and prioritize self-care. We can’t be everything to everyone, and that’s perfectly okay.