Dear World,
I have a request: please don’t underestimate my sons.
Every time you assume my boys will behave like primitive beings simply because they are male, you’re doing them a disservice. When you believe they’ll be distracted by the slightest hint of skin, or when you react disproportionately to their natural responses during puberty, you’re selling them short. Let’s face it, those awkward moments can arise from any number of harmless causes, not just from an attractive peer passing by.
You keep perpetuating the notion that there’s something inherently flawed in their XY chromosomes that hinders their ability to discern right from wrong, to make conscious choices, and to evaluate situations with judgment. You shout about biology and animal instincts, as if human society hasn’t continuously evolved beyond those primitive roots.
So, please, don’t use wildlife behavior as a benchmark for my sons’ capacity to appreciate their peers without losing control over their emotions or academics.
They are boys, not mere organisms driven by instinct. My sons possess reason, morality, and a conscience. By insisting they can’t help their actions, you’re giving them an easy excuse that undermines their potential.
Men are not static beings, and neither are my sons. They are dynamic individuals capable of growth and change. I expect society to have progressed beyond the mindset of “what do you expect?” to one that embodies “I expect better.”
Encourage them to express emotions. Don’t say “man up” or “grow a pair.” The ability to cry, empathize, and express feelings is a fundamental part of being human, not a sign of weakness. They will naturally grow into their manhood, and it’s crucial that they have the space to define what that means for themselves.
The majority of men respect boundaries and understand consent. Most boys navigate their lives without resorting to inappropriate behavior because they’ve been taught right from wrong or intuitively know it’s not acceptable. If the narrative is that men are inherently predatory, does that imply those who don’t conform to that narrative are somehow less than authentic?
Please, don’t underestimate my children simply because they are boys. They are fully aware of their moral compass.
Let’s discard the harmful clichés like “boys will be boys” or “men will be men.” Not only do these phrases excuse unacceptable behavior, but they also relieve me of my responsibility to guide them toward understanding right from wrong.
Boys and men are entirely capable of managing their feelings. If a girl’s spaghetti strap catches their attention, it’s their duty to regulate their response—not to dictate how someone else should dress. When you assume a boy cannot control his impulses, you’re not only negating a girl’s autonomy but also denying a boy the opportunity to learn self-regulation.
I’m raising my sons with a clear understanding of ethics. They know respect transcends gender and that just because others might engage in poor behavior doesn’t make it acceptable. If something makes them question their moral judgment, it’s likely wrong.
We all make mistakes and exhibit poor judgment at times—whether we’re girls, boys, men, or women. However, let’s not diminish my sons’ capacity for sound judgment from the outset.
I hold my sons to high standards, and I believe they—and all boys—should be held to the same expectations. For more insights on parenting and raising boys with integrity, check out this blog post where we delve deeper into these important topics.
As a parent, I want the best for my sons. They deserve the freedom to grow into respectful, conscientious men who navigate the world with empathy and understanding.
Love,
Megan
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