Recently, my partner, Jake, went away for a long weekend, leaving me to manage our three lively boys, aged 7, 5, and 3. This wasn’t just a minor inconvenience; it felt like I was thrown into a whirlwind of anxiety and chaos as I navigated the challenges of solo parenting. He was off to enjoy a fishing trip with his brother, and while I completely understood their need for some brotherly bonding, I was still filled with dread.
When Jake left, he made sure I was well-prepared. He cooked an array of meals, from hearty casseroles to easy-to-microwave snacks for the kids. He stocked the pantry full of essentials like bread, coffee, and juice, ensuring I had enough to keep us all fed. Despite the preparations, I felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. I admit it: I struggle to cope without my partner by my side.
My mental health challenges—including depression, anxiety, and ADHD—complicate things significantly. My medications often leave me feeling fatigued, and I rely on a structured routine to keep me grounded. When left to my own devices, I can easily become overwhelmed by the chaos of parenthood. If I lose track of time or things get messy, I tend to spiral into panic, which unfortunately can lead to frustration and yelling—something we actively try to avoid in our parenting style.
On the first night without Jake, I made a classic blunder and left my bank card in the ATM. This mistake, paired with my 7-year-old’s teasing note calling me an “ideeot,” set the tone for a challenging weekend. Jake usually knows just what to say to calm my nerves and help me find clarity in such moments.
Then there was the bath time debacle with my middle son, Leo. He was vehemently opposed to getting his hair washed, which escalated into a meltdown. In a moment of impulsivity, I offered him a haircut as an alternative. Unfortunately, I misjudged the clippers’ guard and ended up giving him a very uneven haircut. Jake would’ve managed to keep that situation under control, but without him, I found myself in tears over the mess I had created.
The following day, we managed to visit a barber to fix Leo’s haircut, and I only caved into buying one overpriced toy at the farmer’s market—a decision Jake would have likely talked me out of. My anxiety also prevented me from going out later that night, as I canceled plans with a babysitter. I could have used his calming presence to encourage me to enjoy a much-needed break.
It’s important to note that I can handle things when Jake is at work during the week. I have a routine that helps me function, knowing he’ll be home to support me during the evenings. But when faced with an unstructured weekend alone, I felt lost. The pressure mounted as the kids kept asking when Daddy would return, which made me feel unappreciated.
The little challenges piled up quickly; when our internet went out, I felt completely lost. After a frustrating call to customer service, Jake was able to guide me through fixing the issue over the phone. His absence left me feeling not just overwhelmed but also incredibly lonely. I even had to make my dog sleep in the room with us for comfort, despite my worries about him chewing furniture.
By the time Jake returned, the house was a whirlwind, but I was relieved to have him back. We enjoyed a family lunch, and he took the boys out for a day at the zoo while I caught up on sleep. With him home, a sense of normalcy returned, and I didn’t feel the need to make rash decisions or cope with anxiety alone.
While Jake had a fantastic time away, the weekend was a stark reminder of how vital he is to our family dynamic. I am not ashamed to admit that I need my partner—both in parenting and in life. His presence brings balance and assurance that I often struggle to find on my own.
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In summary, I recognize the importance of having my partner by my side. While I can manage solo parenting during the week, the unpredictability of a weekend alone without him proved to be a challenge. I embrace my need for help and support, and I believe it’s essential to acknowledge that we all need a little assistance sometimes.