It’s no secret that as parents, we often find ourselves reflecting on the differences in how we raise our children, especially when it comes to our youngest. It’s almost a cliché to apologize to our later-born kids for the way we’ve relaxed our standards — letting them experience things earlier than their older siblings did. We chuckle about the words they’ve picked up too soon, the movies they’ve watched before they were ready, and the less-than-nutritious snacks they’ve enjoyed.
But let’s be honest: these admissions often serve as a way for us to pat ourselves on the back for being laid-back parents. The reality is, we frequently overlook the innocence of our youngest children, which can often become overshadowed by the demands and expectations set by their older siblings.
In today’s fast-paced world, where parents are redshirting their kids to ensure they are bigger, faster, and more advanced than their peers, we inadvertently push them to grow up faster than they should. Somehow, youth and innocence have been framed as weaknesses, leading us to encourage our children to act older, tougher, and more independent at an alarming rate.
I’m just as guilty of this. My 8-year-old, for example, enjoys a later bedtime than his older brother did at that age. He’s had access to conversations about complex topics and has been exposed to media and situations that have aged him prematurely. He often prefers hanging out with his brother’s friends over his own peers. That’s just the nature of being the youngest, and while it has its perks, it doesn’t mean we should ignore their need to embrace their youth.
Just the other night, as I sat at the dinner table with my boys, we were enjoying a lively conversation about our day. Without any prompting, my 8-year-old quietly slid off his chair and climbed up behind me, playing with my hair just like he did when he was younger. I didn’t scold him for leaving the table; instead, I welcomed this simple moment of connection.
As he twisted my hair, I realized how often I’ve treated him like his older brother. I’ve forgotten that he is still just a child. I thought about how many times he has wanted to play games that are more suited for younger kids. For every request to play Scrabble, there’s been a longing to revisit Chutes and Ladders. Just recently, we pulled out old board books and laughed together as we read them for the first time in years. He still wants to curl up in my lap, and I cherish those moments.
My Promise to You
So, my dear boy, here’s my promise to you:
I vow to remember that you are still only 8 years old. I will strive not to impose the same expectations on you that I do on your brother. I will nurture the magic you see in the world around you. I will not rush you through your storytelling, no matter how busy life gets. Picture books will still be part of our reading time, complete with silly voices and funny illustrations.
I will take the time to watch you play with older kids before joining in for our underwater tea parties, and I will protect you from the harsh realities of the world for as long as I can, even if it means you’re the last to know some things. I will tell you when you’re too young for certain topics, and I know that deep down, you will appreciate it.
I promise to balance the independence you crave with the guidance you need. I will not rush you through childhood or wish away these precious years. I will be there to pick up the pieces when life gets tough. I will hold your hand, guard your heart, and love you fiercely.
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In summary, let’s celebrate the joy of childhood and honor the need for our youngest children to embrace their innocence. By doing so, we allow them to grow at their own pace while providing the love and support they truly need.