When my daughter began preschool last year, we initially thought we were dealing with what some might call a “challenging child.” She experienced meltdowns when things didn’t align with her expectations, was often disruptive during group activities, and required constant redirection from her teacher. We knew she was intelligent and had already grasped many concepts before entering school, so we attributed her behavior to boredom.
As time passed, we began to observe more concerning behaviors. Her emotions became increasingly difficult for her to manage, and even minor issues could send her into prolonged crying spells. She started making repetitive sounds and seemed unable to control when or how to stop. To our dismay, she struggled to form friendships.
Recently, she received a diagnosis of level 1 autism spectrum disorder, akin to what’s previously referred to as Asperger’s syndrome. While she is academically proficient, she faces significant challenges with social interactions and emotional regulation. If you’ve spent time with a preschooler, you likely understand that emotional and impulse control is not a strong suit at that age.
Before the evaluation process, I was not well-versed in autism. Once the diagnosis was confirmed, I dove into research, eager to learn how to help my daughter navigate her environment. Unfortunately, I discovered that ensuring she received the support she needed in a public school setting would be a daunting task, particularly in our underfunded district. I pored over articles and forums, searching for guidance and a sense of community as we faced this journey together.
What took me by surprise was the backlash I encountered online, in comment sections, and even on social media. I read angry comments from parents who saw children like mine in their schools and felt wronged. They perceived children who thought and acted differently as a threat to their own children’s education. They lamented about resources being allocated to “problematic” students instead of their own.
Many complained about large class sizes and argued that instead of providing individual support for special needs students, classes should be divided to benefit everyone. They appeared to overlook the fact that a child with special needs may require extra assistance to focus, which would inevitably take time away from the teacher’s instruction, regardless of class size.
Furthermore, these parents failed to recognize that their neurotypical children could gain invaluable lessons from interacting with those who are different. Such experiences can foster empathy, understanding, and social skills that are crucial in a diverse society. An inclusive classroom can teach all children about cooperation, patience, and kindness.
There’s a saying that when you’re accustomed to privilege, equality can feel like oppression. I wish I could make those parents truly understand this concept, perhaps even tattoo it on their eyelids to instigate some introspection.
Then I stumbled upon a comment that hit me hard: “They should be with their kind in their own class.” This statement came from a father who was understandably upset after witnessing a classmate with special needs have a meltdown and disrupt his son’s learning experience. He felt that his child had a right to a peaceful school environment.
But here’s where he was mistaken: every child has the right to a free and equal education. This cannot be achieved by segregating students with special needs. A truly equitable educational environment does not come at the cost of others’ rights to learn alongside their peers.
Your child shouldn’t spend their school days shielded from those who think and act differently. They shouldn’t grow up without considering that not everyone starts with the same advantages. Denying access to special needs children only serves to widen the gap of inequality.
Before you focus solely on what you perceive as a disadvantage for your child, think about what you would hope for if your child needed special education services. Remember that during the 12 years your child will spend in public school, your role will be primarily to wake them up in the mornings and remind them about homework at night.
Many children with special needs are often left behind in public education systems. Those who do receive necessary services often do so only after exhausting financial resources on advocates and legal support.
If you truly believe that your child is suffering because of the inclusion of special needs students, take action. Get involved in your community and advocate for better-funded schools. Instead of seeking to elevate your privileged child by pushing others down, recognize that an equitable education system benefits society as a whole. You can advocate for your child without perpetuating discrimination against mine and others like her.
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In summary, embracing diversity in education not only enriches our children’s experiences but also prepares them for a future where empathy and understanding are essential. Let’s work together to ensure that all children have the opportunity to thrive.