It was around 7:30 PM, and there I was, bent over a tub while two rambunctious little girls splashed around. Lila, my 3-year-old, decided it would be fun to spray water at her 8-year-old sister, Emma. Naturally, Emma retaliated by filling a cup with bathwater and sending it right back. I found myself scrambling to put an end to this aquatic chaos while reminding them that bathwater is not for drinking—something my kids still haven’t quite grasped. Sometimes, when the pediatrician asks if they’re drinking enough water, I think back to these bath moments and confidently reply, “Absolutely!”
My 10-year-old son, Max, was behind me arguing that he only wanted to brush his teeth for a minute instead of the recommended two. Everything with him is a negotiation these days. But with my hands busy managing the water wars, I didn’t have time for discussions. Meanwhile, my wife, Sarah, was relaxing on the couch, engrossed in a game of Yahtzee on her iPad.
If an outsider had walked in on that scene, they might have mistaken Sarah for being unhelpful. However, the truth is, she’s earned that downtime. Until recently, she was the full-time caregiver, juggling our kids around the clock. She recently took on a part-time role at their school, but she remains the primary caregiver. I work multiple jobs, often leaving before the kids wake and returning home after they’ve gone to bed.
So, when I am home, I take charge of getting all three kids ready for bed, allowing Sarah to take a break—even if it’s just for an hour or two. I’m not exactly sure when I took over this routine, but it has become a staple in our household. I’ll admit, wrangling three kids under ten into pajamas can feel like trying to wrestle slippery seals onto dry land. It can be chaotic. I often find myself rolling my eyes or breaking a sweat as I chase them down. Yet, despite the chaos, putting my kids to bed is one of the most rewarding parts of my day.
Sure, working to provide for the family is important, and I know it takes a lot of effort to make ends meet, especially with three children. But having that dedicated time each night to be fully “Dad” is vital to me. Some of my fondest memories have unfolded during these bedtime rituals. I’ll often find myself crawling down the hallway with my second daughter pretending she’s riding a horse, complete with a blanket as a saddle. And when she calls me a “good daddy-horse,” it’s hard not to smile and play along.
As I settle down next to my youngest, I cherish those warm hugs from Max before he drifts off to sleep. It’s a reminder that these moments matter. Even when bedtime feels chaotic, the memories created are often heartwarming.
Most importantly, my taking over bedtime gives Sarah a necessary breather. Being the primary caregiver is a demanding role that includes countless responsibilities: cooking, driving, scheduling, and so much more. Moms deserve time to unwind without the constant demands of little ones.
I know plenty of couples who share similar routines, with dad taking over bedtime while mom enjoys some well-deserved time off. It fosters appreciation for the stay-at-home parent while allowing the working parent to bond with their kids.
To the dads reading this, especially those who may feel overwhelmed by their own to-do lists, I get it. After a long day, all you might want to do is relax. But trust me, those moments spent tucking your kids in can turn into some of the most cherished memories. Even when I’m exhausted and just want to take a breather, I find immense joy in those nightly rituals. So, go ahead and give your partner a break tonight; take over the bedtime routine.
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Summary
Dads can greatly improve family dynamics by taking over bedtime routines, allowing moms to enjoy a much-needed break. This practice not only builds stronger connections with children but also fosters appreciation for the hard work of stay-at-home parents. Embracing these nightly rituals can lead to cherished memories and a more balanced family life.