Parenting can be a rollercoaster of surprises, and nothing quite prepares you for the moment your little one emerges from bed with profound questions. My daughter, at just four years old, has taken me aback with her inquiries, such as:
- “Can two boys get married?”
- “What happens when we die?”
- “Can we come back here after we die?”
- “Do we have bones in heaven?”
Honestly, I thought I had a few more years before diving into these heavy topics. On one hand, I’m thrilled to have such a bright and inquisitive child. It’s a testament to her intelligence and the trust she places in me to provide answers. I imagine us years from now, enjoying coffee on the porch while discussing everything from current events to the mysteries of the universe.
However, as much as I cherish her curiosity, I often find myself at a loss for words. The fear of giving her an inaccurate answer and potentially influencing her in a negative way is daunting. What if she ends up in a cult or develops anxiety over these big ideas? It can be overwhelming when the big questions arise.
I want to respond thoughtfully. For instance, while I can affirm that two boys can marry, I’m completely unsure about our structure in the afterlife. I’ve considered three main approaches to her questions:
1. Share My Personal Beliefs
After all, she’s growing up in my household, and it’s natural for her to learn about what her father and I think. However, I’m apprehensive about indoctrination. I want her to form her own beliefs and challenge norms rather than simply accept my views. Striking a balance here feels tricky.
2. Admit, “I Don’t Know”
This approach teaches her that even adults aren’t infallible. It’s important for her to see me as a flawed human. Yet, part of me enjoys being viewed as the all-knowing parent, and I wish to prolong this phase where I can easily fix her problems with a simple treat.
3. Ask Her What She Thinks
At her age, she isn’t yet intimidated by these questions, and I find it refreshing to hear her unfiltered thoughts. This method not only empowers her to express herself but also alleviates the pressure of being the fountain of knowledge. It allows for a dynamic conversation where I can listen more than I speak, something I hope to nurture as she grows.
In the end, I may not have clear answers to all her questions, and that’s okay. My role as her mother isn’t to be perfect. It’s to raise a confident young girl who can think critically and stand up for her beliefs, even when faced with opposition. It’s also my job to panic a little—because, let’s face it, the cult thing is a possibility.
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To summarize, it’s a wild ride when your little one starts asking the big questions. While I grapple with how to respond, I cherish the opportunity to guide her as she learns to think for herself, even if it means I occasionally have to admit I don’t have all the answers.