I’ve Called a Timeout on Playdates — It’s Time for Mom to Prioritize Herself

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Goldfish crackers and juice boxes cluttered the kitchen counter, while hummus and pretzels sat alongside sparkling mimosas. In the living room, a chaotic scene unfolded as toddlers threw tantrums over who could ride the squeaky mechanical pony, while infants cried from their makeshift cribs. After spending most of my days alone with my little one, I felt like I’d stepped into a bizarre alternate reality. Despite the chaos, as a new mother, I embraced the whirlwind.

Once I embarked on the enchanting yet perplexing journey of motherhood, I knew I needed a solid support system. I craved a nurturing and uplifting community but had no idea where to find it. Then, one day, I took my three-month-old daughter, Sophie, to storytime at the library. We settled in a semicircle with other parents and their children, listening to the librarian’s gentle voice read from colorful board books. Suddenly, a crawling infant landed in my lap. The baby’s mother swooped in and asked, “I’m hosting a few moms at my place. Want to join our playdate?” Her friendly smile was irresistible.

“Absolutely!” I replied.

Upon entering our new friend’s home, I was greeted by a whirlwind of activity—diaper bags and purses spilled into the entryway, and about ten other moms mingled with their little ones, ranging from newborns to toddlers. We sipped mimosas, watched our babies explore the toy-filled room, and shared stories about pregnancy, our birth experiences, and the hilarities of life after baby.

I had finally discovered my mommy tribe.

As the weeks went by, our group expanded, eventually encompassing around 25 moms and their children. These playdates became a vital connection to a community I never anticipated being part of, yet now couldn’t imagine living without. Between coffee dates, outings, library visits, and park playdates, we filled our days with laughter and support.

As months flew by and Sophie approached her first birthday, I celebrated my growing confidence as a mother. Yet, there was one nagging issue: I was utterly drained from trying to keep up with our bustling social calendar. When weekends rolled around, my husband wanted to venture out with me and Sophie, but all I yearned for was a cozy day at home, wearing pajamas, and diving back into my writing.

“I’ve been to that park five times this week. I can’t face another playdate,” I confided to my husband.

That was the pivotal moment when I realized that while I adored my mommy tribe, it was time to rediscover my personal interests—something beyond my roles as a wife and mother. I felt a strong urge to start writing again, to explore where that path could lead me. As a stay-at-home mom, I had the flexibility that many working parents envied.

I began saying “no” to playdates and “yes” to prioritizing myself. My weeks transformed as we no longer rushed from one event to another. Many days, Sophie would play nearby while I worked on my laptop, outlining essays and drafting poetry. I relished the opportunity to express my creativity and stopped longing for the social crowd. I found myself more present for my husband and felt fulfilled by my writing, which allowed me to be productive beyond the label of “Mommy.”

These days, while I may not indulge in afternoon mimosas with my friends and skip numerous playdates, I’ve gained something invaluable: the ability to balance play and work while pursuing my dreams. One day, Sophie will realize that her mom took the initiative to follow her passions—and perhaps that will inspire her to do the same.

That’s what truly matters.

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Summary:

The author reflects on her journey of motherhood and the importance of carving out personal time amidst a busy schedule of playdates and social gatherings. She shares how prioritizing her writing and personal interests has enriched her life and set a positive example for her daughter.

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