Updated: March 10, 2023
Originally Published: March 4, 2023
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People with high-functioning anxiety often wear a mask of normalcy. Trust me, I understand this all too well. For the most part, I manage quite well, and I wouldn’t typically label myself as someone who “struggles” with anxiety—until I do. And when that happens, it can turn into a chaotic experience that drains me completely.
Let me share a challenging moment. As a busy working mom with a demanding job and a lively toddler, my husband and I rarely indulge in nights out. However, we had a much-anticipated evening planned. I was thrilled at the thought of celebrating with friends and family, dressing up, and enjoying some much-needed fun! I even splurged on a fabulous pair of blue pumps that made me feel incredibly confident.
Anxiety didn’t cross my mind at all. In hindsight, perhaps it should have, but I was ready for a good time.
That joy lasted until it didn’t. Out of nowhere, I found myself in a panic. The noise became muffled yet overwhelming, the lights felt blinding, and I was caught in a whirlwind of confusion, feeling both sweaty and cold at the same time.
There wasn’t a singular cause—just a series of minor stressors that culminated in a full-blown anxiety attack. A perfect end to what was supposed to be a lovely night out.
I don’t want to trivialize the experience; anxiety attacks can be terrifying and perplexing, often leaving you feeling completely debilitated. As I write this, I reflect on that night with some distance, allowing for clarity and a touch of humor.
It’s essential to understand that there’s no shame in dealing with anxiety. I didn’t do anything wrong. Many people avoid discussing their mental health struggles out of fear or embarrassment. They worry that others won’t understand. It’s true that some may never grasp the complexities of anxiety or depression, but open conversations can bridge that gap. Those of us who experience these issues can educate those who don’t, fostering a supportive community. Silence only perpetuates isolation.
Before I faced my own anxiety and depression, I had little understanding of either condition. But once diagnosed, I dove into research to learn more. I discovered that I’m among the 40 million Americans grappling with some form of anxiety disorder.
Interestingly, women are statistically more likely to experience various anxiety and depressive disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder—both of which I now know intimately. While this knowledge didn’t cure me, it certainly made me feel less alone in my journey.
That night of excitement? It quickly transformed into a moment where I had to rely on the coping strategies I had developed. Unfortunately, those feelings hit me like a freight train, and I was scrambling to remember the tools I needed to cope.
Here’s what many people who haven’t experienced anxiety or depression may not understand: One minute, everything seems fine, and the next, it can feel like the world is crashing down. That was me during that supposedly fabulous night. One moment I was enjoying myself, and the next, I was fighting through an anxiety attack, struggling to catch my breath, and yearning to escape to the nearest bathroom stall.
Despite my knowledge on the subject, I felt embarrassed and angry—both at myself and at this illness that reared its ugly head when I least expected it. I knew I had to leave, fully aware that those around me might not understand or could even be upset. Just five years ago, I would have convinced myself to “tough it out,” which often resulted in a massive meltdown, either in private or in public. Recovery would take days.
“What does it feel like?” people often ask.
Honestly, it’s awful.
To elaborate, it’s like your mind is racing uncontrollably. You start questioning every decision, every word, every gesture, convinced everyone is judging you. Your breathing becomes erratic; you alternate between hyperventilating and trying to slow your breath down, all while feeling like you are letting everyone down.
In those moments, every achievement feels meaningless, and you convince yourself that you’re a fraud or a failure. At least, that’s how it feels for me. While I know these thoughts aren’t true, anxiety distorts reality. Without effective coping mechanisms and a solid support system (and even with them), anxiety attacks can feel incredibly isolating.
Fortunately, I have a supportive network of family and friends who love me unconditionally. They understand that when I say, “I need to go,” it’s not a façade; I’m genuinely upset. I can see the disappointment on their faces, but I’ve learned to accept that my mental health is a priority.
I’m now better at recognizing my anxiety attacks for what they are and am more open about sharing my experiences. I want others to know they’re not alone and that there’s nothing wrong with them. I’m not defined by my anxiety; I can be a successful professional, a devoted wife, and a loving mother—all while managing my mental health.
This journey of self-acceptance has empowered me, and I hope that by sharing my story, I can help others feel less isolated. If you’re struggling, remember that you’re not alone. And if you’re looking for additional resources, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination.
To maintain your well-being, consider exploring boosting fertility supplements from reputable retailers like Make A Mom.
In conclusion, it’s vital to have open conversations about mental health and to seek support when needed. Embrace your journey, and remember, you are not your anxiety.
Summary:
This article discusses the challenges of parenting while managing high-functioning anxiety. The author shares personal experiences of anxiety attacks, emphasizing the importance of open conversations about mental health and seeking support. It encourages readers to recognize that they are not alone in their struggles and to prioritize their well-being.