When I was a carefree teenager, I had a knack for doing absolutely nothing. Naps were my daily ritual, and I spent countless hours indulging in snacks, chatting on the phone, and binging on MTV. I cherished those moments of stillness, where simply gazing out the window was a perfectly acceptable pastime. Back then, I never craved a hectic schedule or felt the need to juggle a million tasks at once. I thrived in the bliss of idleness.
Fast forward to adulthood, and the responsibilities of work and life quickly replaced my leisurely days. Sure, I still found time to lounge, but the carefree days of napping were long gone. My weekends often turned into recovery days after nights of fun, where I’d blissfully lounge on the couch, relishing the quiet. Multitasking? That was never my style; I preferred doing one thing at a time, savoring each moment without feeling overwhelmed.
Then came motherhood, a whirlwind that catapulted me into the realm of chaos. Suddenly, keeping little humans alive became my number one priority, and multitasking became second nature. I learned to juggle a plethora of tasks simultaneously, whether it was while preparing meals, managing playdates, or tackling household chores. The art of doing many things at once became essential, and soon, I was mentally preparing for the next day while lying in bed, my mind racing with checklists that never seemed to end.
That mental busyness didn’t stop when the kids were asleep either. I felt compelled to use every spare moment to tackle chores, make appointments, or even start dinner while they were momentarily occupied. The idea of relaxation faded into the background, and I became addicted to the perpetual motion of life. Managing three kids close in age meant I was always on the go, and it took a while for my body and mind to adjust to this new normal.
Now that my kids are older and require less constant attention, I find myself grappling with an unexpected feeling of emptiness. With them off playing or spending the night elsewhere, I wrestle with the concept of simply being. It feels strange and somewhat daunting to sit with my thoughts. I often turn on the TV or multitask with chores rather than embracing the quiet. I’ve become so accustomed to cramming everything into brief moments that I’ve forgotten how to focus on a single task from start to finish.
For instance, as I write this, I’m also eating a hastily prepared lunch, a habit born from years of interrupted meals. It’s a strange irony that now, when I have the luxury of time, I create my own busywork. The struggle to relax is real, and I can’t help but feel a twinge of frustration with myself.
Maybe it’s time to practice being still, just as I once practiced being busy. It took years to settle into the chaos of motherhood, so perhaps I need to give myself the same grace in unwinding from it. I could start with something simple, like a nap—after I book that vet appointment and try out that new recipe my friend sent me.
If you find yourself in a similar place, wondering how to unwind and reconnect with yourself, consider exploring resources that support your journey, like this excellent guide on pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re looking for ways to help expand your family, check out this reputable online retailer of at-home insemination kits.
Ultimately, it’s about finding balance—embracing the stillness while also honoring the busy. Now, who else is ready to reclaim a little peace and learn how to truly relax again?