It seems like everywhere I turn, I meet parents of twins. It’s as if the moment you discover you’re having twins, an invisible radar activates, making twin families pop up all around you. Many of the mothers I encounter have older twins who are able to dress themselves and help out around the house, and they consistently tell me that raising twins becomes more enjoyable as the years go by.
Interestingly, only a small percentage of parents I meet say something disheartening like, “Oh, it just gets tougher as they grow.” I’ve never quite grasped the reasoning behind that perspective. Even if they believe it, what good does it do to share such negativity? If you encounter one of those people, just smile and keep moving, or dramatically exclaim, “I’m not going to survive this!” and wait for someone nearby to offer a helping hand.
One insightful mom I met encapsulated the essence of managing twins perfectly when she said, “People without twins make a big deal out of how you manage it all. You just do it! Keep a sense of humor and take it one day—sometimes even one hour—at a time.”
Some may say that life gives you only what you can handle, to which you might reply, “Sure, but I think there’s been a mix-up, and I’m not the person they intended this for.” Then, just when you think you’re at your wits’ end, the baby you’ve been praying would sleep for at least six minutes actually sleeps for an hour, and you find yourself on your knees, grateful, probably dozing off right there!
A well-honed sense of humor is essential for navigating this journey. If you don’t have one, it’s time to acquire it—quickly! Life can throw you into what feels like catastrophic situations, but humor helps them pass much faster. Yes, there will be times when you laugh until you can’t breathe and then suddenly shift gears, saying, “But really, we must sort this out.” Alternatively, you might find yourself yelling, “We need to fix this now!” But if you can lean into laughter more often, it will serve you well. As humorist Kurt Vonnegut said, “Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.”
Take, for instance, the experience of Mark, a father of twin boys, Leo and Max. He recalls a particularly chaotic night when they were on diaper change number four in just an hour at 3 a.m. His wife said, “At least it can’t get worse!” But moments later, their toddler daughter came in feeling unwell and, within seconds, vomited all over the freshly laundered clothes. All they could do was laugh because what else was there to do?
Now is the time to recalibrate your expectations. I recently heard that raising triplets supposedly takes around 196 hours each week. With only 168 hours available, it’s safe to estimate that caring for twins might require around 130 hours weekly. That’s a hefty time commitment! Clearly, you’ll need to make some adjustments to your lifestyle.
If you’re someone who requires a spotless home every day, you might want to devise a plan to manage that expectation. I recall one evening when Mark came home to find me frazzled, unshowered, and searching frantically for Leo’s pajamas. When he mentioned a sale on speakers he’d been anticipating, I snapped, “Money doesn’t grow on trees, and neither do housekeepers. Look around! I need some help!” He must have sensed my urgency because he promptly grabbed the vacuum cleaner. Whether it was my state of chaos or my fierce demeanor that inspired him, I’m not sure, but it worked!
Understand that you won’t be dining on gourmet meals every night unless you have a personal chef. To be honest, there are nights when a bowl of cereal feels like a feast. And yes, I still rely on the benefits of a good multivitamin.
Your holiday cards may not make it out until March, or you might find joy in simply sending your wishes via social media. As Mark often says, “There aren’t enough hours in the day or adults in this house!” It’s essential to allow for lengthy to-do lists and learn that it’s acceptable to prioritize three or four tasks over a week instead of cramming them into a single day. Remember, leaving a few items unfinished at the end of the day isn’t the end of the world.
Most parents of twins find that they become remarkably flexible. Even those who were once highly organized discover they can enjoy a movie night before tackling the dirty dishes. Or they might find themselves needing to change gears when a diaper explosion occurs just as they’re about to head out for a holiday event. This shift in mindset can be as rewarding as the arrival of your little ones, helping you focus on what truly matters in life.
If organization wasn’t your strong suit before, it will be now. And if you were already organized, you’ll step it up a notch—just like the famous chef Emeril Lagasse would say!
When I unexpectedly ended up in the hospital with preterm labor at 32 weeks, I came home for a mere 24 hours before giving birth to my twins at 35 weeks. They spent 16 days in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), which gave me a chance to prepare for their arrival. But honestly, the best way to figure out organization is to dive in and see what works best for you. You won’t be waiting long before you face urgent challenges that need addressing quickly, just like every other parent of twins.
Remember, the universe wouldn’t have entrusted you with twins if it didn’t have complete faith in your ability to handle the adventure ahead. For more insights into the challenges that arise during the first year with twins, check out this informative guide on day-to-day challenges.
In summary, be prepared for a rollercoaster of experiences when expecting twins. Embrace humor, let go of perfectionism, and focus on what truly matters. With the right mindset, you’ll navigate this journey just fine.