I thrive in a tidy environment, favoring clean surfaces and organized spaces. As a minimalist at heart (with a notable weakness for shoe stores), excessive clutter can easily send me into a tailspin. My kids are well aware of my standards; they know that if they don’t pick up after themselves, I’ll step in. And yes, this sometimes leads to me tossing their candy stash into the trash if it’s been left out for too long after I’ve asked them to clean it up. I wish I could see messes through a different lens, as mere reminders of childhood creativity rather than chaotic piles of junk. I genuinely struggle with this, but there is one area where I let go: my children’s rooms.
When I recently ventured into my son’s room, I was greeted by a bizarre collection of six beakers filled with mysterious potions he had concocted ages ago. One of them was even sprouting something—yikes! But when he pleaded, “Please don’t touch it; this is exactly how it’s supposed to look,” I couldn’t help but respect his wishes. I see the joy it brings him, and that’s enough for me to leave it be. His solar flower sways on the windowsill, accompanied by a collection of solar-powered cars. Legos are strewn about, and his bedside table is a fortress of books and treasured pens. This is his sanctuary—his imaginative space where blanket forts come to life—and I wouldn’t dare disrupt it. Even the dandelions he’s convinced will turn into wishes get to stay undisturbed.
My daughter’s room is no different. I won’t dare to disturb her collection of stones or her proud display of perfume bottles. Her favorite baby blankets, which she uses nightly to swaddle our dog, are scattered across her bed and floor. When I peek in to say goodnight, I find her reading or creating while the dog snoozes, wrapped like a taco in those blankets. Her jewelry hangs from a whimsical gold elephant I gifted her, her baby photos are taped to the walls, and a fairy house brims with acorns and bits of fabric. Her homemade bookmarks are liberally scattered, begging for more storage solutions.
My oldest is busy working on a bike project in a corner of his room, surrounded by tools and old towels. His love for music fills the space, with a speaker lying on the floor nearby. His nightstand hosts bags of elastics, loose change, and a Matchbox car still in its box from his aunt. The desk is cluttered with chargers, hall passes, and ski clothes draped over a chair. He keeps every box for his gadgets, which are stacked proudly on his dresser next to a few trophies.
While I used to dream of a tidier home, I’ve come to realize that the mess and chaos are part of their journey. I can close the door and ignore the clutter, or occasionally wander in to glimpse their imaginative world. Through their eyes, I remember the thrill of displaying my treasures as a child—whether it was a new doll or a beautiful shell. To them, these items are not clutter; they are cherished parts of their lives.
Of course, there have been times when I’ve done a thorough “Mom Clean” with a garbage bag in hand, and I occasionally request they clear out the junk hiding beneath their beds. We tackle closet clean-outs together a couple of times each year, but I don’t expect them to keep their rooms immaculate every day. I don’t stress if their beds remain unmade. What truly warms my heart is discovering sweet notes they’ve exchanged or a half-finished puzzle sprawled across the floor. These reminders of their bond and creativity are fleeting moments I cherish as they grow up.
Just because I might find their rooms overwhelming doesn’t mean they do, and ultimately, that’s what matters. They feel at ease in their spaces, and I trust that when they’re ready, they will take charge of their messes. Besides, the rest of the house is just as I like it. Their rooms belong solely to them.
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In summary, allowing kids to control their own messy rooms fosters creativity and independence. While I may prefer a cleaner environment, embracing their clutter as part of their growth is essential. After all, it’s all about finding a balance between my need for order and their need for self-expression.