Let’s face it: the popular parenting mantra of simply “not being a jerk” isn’t cutting it anymore. While it’s a step in the right direction, it falls short of what our children truly need to learn. In a society rife with prejudice and hostility, it’s crucial that we do more than just avoid being the bad guy; we must actively strive to be good people.
Being a decent human being doesn’t mean just sitting back and feeling smug because we are not the ones perpetuating negativity. True goodness is about taking action and making a positive impact in the world around us. As my children have matured, our conversations about inappropriate behavior have become more frequent. We talk about incidents at school, scenarios from movies, or the troubling actions of public figures. These discussions help us identify meanness and injustice, but it’s essential to remind our kids that it’s not enough to just avoid being the bully; they need to stand up for those who are being bullied and take action when they see wrongdoing.
Recently, while watching reruns of The Wonder Years, a scene resonated deeply with us. Kevin Arnold and his classmates decided to walk out in protest of the Vietnam War, despite knowing there would be consequences. My child asked, “Why should they be punished for standing up for what they believe in?” This opened the door for a meaningful discussion about bravery and the reality that standing up for what’s right often comes at a cost.
As a self-professed conflict-averse person, I understand the temptation to avoid confrontation and simply aim for niceness. But sometimes doing the right thing means upsetting the status quo. A few weeks ago, my child and I had plans for dinner and a movie, but then we learned about protests occurring at the airport due to a recent executive order that affected our family. Faced with a choice, we opted to join the protest instead of going to the movies. “We need to use our voices to speak out against this,” I said, reinforcing that merely not being the bad guy wasn’t enough.
Lately, many parents seem content to adopt the “just don’t be a jerk” philosophy, which I believe is a lazy approach to parenting. Whether it’s dealing with a bully at school or advocating against injustice, we cannot simply sit back and hope for the best. We must equip our children to confront these issues head-on and empower them to advocate for what is right.
It’s important to clarify that standing up does not mean being cruel or resorting to violence. I firmly believe in nonviolent solutions to conflict and that we can resolve issues through compassion and understanding. However, we must also be willing to take action and not turn a blind eye to the suffering around us. This means raising our voices against injustice, lifting others up, and creating a supportive community.
Despite the overwhelming negativity sometimes presented in the world, I choose to believe that there are more good people than bad. But simply avoiding being a jerk is no longer sufficient. We must actively engage in acts of kindness and stand up against those who perpetuate harm. It’s time to transform our mindset from merely not being a jerk to actively caring for one another.
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In summary, it’s vital that we move beyond simply not being jerks. We need to teach our children the importance of standing up for what is right and taking action against injustice. Let’s empower the next generation to be advocates for kindness and change.