Recently, I had an eye-opening experience with my daughter, Emma. She had been acting out, which is a gentle way of saying she was being downright rude and disrespectful to everyone around her. Her politeness seemed to have vanished, and she was quick to shift blame onto her younger sibling, claiming that he was the source of all her troubles (when, in reality, they were both just as guilty of teasing each other).
Initially, I activated my best stern yet patient parent mode. I encouraged her to take a breather in her room so we could discuss what was bothering her without all the heightened emotions clouding the conversation. I even offered to sit with her to help her unwind. Unsurprisingly, she insisted she wasn’t upset and that I was the one creating the problems (ah, the joys of parenting a tween!).
I made it clear that I couldn’t engage with her or do anything fun until she began to communicate more respectfully. When she snapped at her brother a few minutes later, causing him to burst into tears, I had to take away her screen time for the day. That quelled things temporarily, but her behavior continued to be challenging for several more days. Despite over a decade of parenting experience, I began to doubt my approach. Was I too strict? Not strict enough? Was something wrong with her or with me?
Then, after a particularly tough few days, Emma wandered into my office while I was busy typing away. I was ready to send her back out because my work time is limited, but she simply said, “I just want to lie down next to you.” Well, when your moody child asks for that, you can’t say no. So, I welcomed her next to me, showed her the article I was working on, and even asked for her thoughts. After finishing up, we just relaxed and talked. She rambled on about video games, school, and life in general — nothing groundbreaking, but it felt so sweet to reconnect.
And you can probably guess the outcome. After that brief half-hour of dedicated attention, her attitude shifted significantly. Not just for that day, but for the entire week following, most of her sass and misbehavior dissipated.
I’m not entirely sure why she needed that extra dose of attention. It wasn’t an unusually stressful week at home, and I couldn’t pinpoint any specific issues at school or with friends. Nevertheless, it turned out to be the perfect remedy. This isn’t the first time I’ve discovered that a simple, quality one-on-one interaction can work wonders when it comes to correcting behavioral issues. It serves as a reminder of the bond we share — a way to express, “I don’t know what’s bothering you, but I see you, and I’m here.”
I often forget to employ this strategy when I’m knee-deep in addressing visible misbehavior. While it’s crucial to tackle harmful actions immediately, if your child is caught in a cycle of acting out, spending quality time together might just be the key to breaking that cycle. At the very least, it smooths over the rough edges.
Disciplining kids is incredibly challenging. I don’t claim to have all the answers, and what works for one child may not work for another. Honestly, I often feel like I’m learning as I go. However, I can confidently say that dedicating time to reconnect with my kids during tough moments tends to make us both feel much better. If it doesn’t resolve the issue, it often helps us approach it with more calmness and clarity. Plus, those extra cuddles with a rapidly growing child are priceless.
If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out this blog post on the importance of emotional connection. And for those exploring the journey of home insemination, be sure to visit IVF Babble for valuable resources and information. If you’re considering at-home options, Make a Mom offers reliable kits to support your journey too.
In summary, when faced with a child acting out, taking time to reconnect can be a simple yet effective solution. It serves to enhance your relationship and helps in managing behavioral issues more effectively.