As a working mom, I find myself in a constant dance, trying to balance my unwavering love for both my family and my career. My professional journey has been a labor of love — I juggled a full-time job while pursuing a master’s degree, undertook numerous internships, and miraculously landed my dream job right after graduation. It was no walk in the park, though. I was always the first to arrive at work and the last to leave. “Who wants to work on New Year’s Day?” “Count me in!” I was that person who volunteered.
Despite not earning a fortune, I’ve cherished my job for over seven years. I’m proud to be part of an organization that makes a real difference in our community. Then, life threw me a curveball: my son was on the way.
When I discovered I was pregnant, I was filled with tears — and not the joyful kind. These were tears of panic and doubt, as I thought, “Your perfect life is about to change!” I felt an overwhelming guilt, especially since a close friend of mine had been trying to conceive for ages. I instinctively called a friend to cry it out; it’s a common reaction, isn’t it? I managed to compose myself before my husband, Mark, returned from basketball practice, but I hesitated to tell him for two days. Once I did, it hit me: this was real. Sure, we hadn’t been preventing a pregnancy, but I thought it would take longer. Mark’s joyful tears only intensified my mixed emotions.
My pregnancy was textbook, but it wasn’t without its challenges. I often scribbled “conference call” on sticky notes, plastered them on my door, and would curl up under my desk to cope through the mornings. I’d crank up my Pandora to drown out the sound of my morning sickness, and when the weight gain started, I hid behind oversized sweaters and claimed it was from holiday indulgence.
Eventually, I had to break the news to my boss, my mentor, and a respected figure in our industry. Blushing and stumbling over my words, I revealed that Mark and I were expecting. His first question was, “You’ll be back after the baby, right?” The congratulations that followed felt like an afterthought. Yet, I was somewhat relieved; it seemed he still saw me as more than just a mom-to-be, and that was comforting.
The realization dawned on me that I could indeed manage both roles. The months flew by, and soon, our beautiful baby boy arrived. I took a brief eight weeks off to bond with him, but by the end, I was ready to return to work. The walls felt like they were closing in, cluttered with toys and baby gear. I longed for adult interaction and a hot shower.
Dropping my son off at daycare for the first time was heart-wrenching, yet I felt a pull toward my career. Now, at ten months old, I continue to grapple with my desires:
- A happy and healthy child? Absolutely.
- A rewarding and successful career? You bet!
- A supportive husband who thinks I have it all together? Yes, please!
- A tidy home and completed chores? Check!
- Financial stability and the ability to say yes to my child’s wants? Definitely!
I aspire to be the mom who prepares organic baby food and serves on the board at our local children’s hospital, while also fitting in a workout with my stylish Lululemon leggings. I pass by those moms every morning and wonder about the enriching experiences they create for their children.
But I will persist in my career. I want my son to see dedication and resilience in action. I genuinely enjoy my job, and it allows me to contribute positively to my community. Working keeps me sharp, witty, and engaged, ensuring I remain the woman my husband fell in love with.
Ultimately, I work not just out of necessity but because it’s what’s best for our family. I may not be the perfect mom, but I’m committed to giving this journey my all. You can read more about similar experiences and insights in our other blog post here. For those interested in at-home insemination options, check out this link for quality syringe kits. Additionally, if you’re seeking further information on pregnancy and home insemination, Mount Sinai offers excellent resources.
In summary, the journey of a working mom is filled with joy and challenges, but embracing both my family and career is what keeps me fulfilled.