Dear Parents,
Let’s clear the air right away: I’m not here to tell you to cherish every moment. I remember all too well the chaos that comes with parenting—too many demands and too little energy to meet them. Who would want to cling to that feeling of being completely stretched thin, like a resource exhausted to its last drop?
I still feel the tension in my back, a reminder of those early days after my third child was born. I can vividly recall one afternoon when I attempted to corral my 5- and 2-year-olds into the bathtub, hoping to contain their energy long enough to nurse the newborn. Picture this: I’m wedged in the bathroom, my legs pressed against the edges of a tiny stool, hunched over as I attempt to nurse, all the while monitoring the older ones for any signs of trouble. It was a tough moment, but in a strange way, it felt like a small victory—a clever solution to a chaotic day. But believe me, I was completely drained, both physically and emotionally.
Eventually, the baby grew strong enough to sit up, and my eldest learned to read. I could finally fill the tub with a few inches of water, squeeze in my little ones, and step into the shower while my first-grader curled up with a book nearby. Of course, I couldn’t indulge in anything like a shave—after all, they needed pacifiers to avoid drinking the shampoo—but I could wash my hair!
Just yesterday, I thought about those days as I watched my kids climb into the tub together. Now that they are 7, 5, and 2 ½, I can leave the room without worry. If I turn off the music and listen for any sudden splashes or shouts, I can finish up the dishes while they enjoy their bath. I hear their delightful chatter, each scenario they create—“I’ll be the baby, you be the dragon, and she can be the manager”—and it brings a smile to my face.
I even get to exercise now! My youngest sits in her stroller with a stack of board books while the older two ride their scooters alongside me. “Let’s race, Mommy! Go faster!” They might fall or lose interest, but I consider those stops to be part of my interval training.
Sure, I still have days where I wish for a moment of solitude—just a few hours where I don’t have to cook or clean—but those moments are becoming less frequent. It’s like I’m a dog that has just received a retractable leash; while I still feel tethered at times, I now have room to breathe and focus on my own needs.
And just to clarify, it’s not because my kids have become moody teenagers who hide away. My son still asks every night, “Will you come snuggle in my bed?” and I gladly do. I take my time during storytime, no longer racing through the pages to prepare for lunches, as they can now take care of their own clothes and pick their own bedtime stories.
While I may have missed some moments during the whirlwind of early parenting, it turns out there’s plenty of time to connect between the postpartum struggles and the independence that follows. I still sit on the floor, building train tracks, playing chase at the park, and snuggling with them. I cherish these moments, trying to capture their essence in my memory.
They say the days are long but the years are short, and that rings true. But there comes a point when the hours feel just right, and the years align, allowing you to breathe in the love without feeling like you’re fighting for survival.
So don’t beat yourself up for not being the cheerful parent all the time. Do what you need to do to get through each day. The roses will be there when you find the time to appreciate them. For now, they’re blooming beautifully, and I revel in their scent without hesitation.
With love,
A Mom of Slightly Older Kids
P.S. If you’re looking for more helpful insights on parenting and family life, check out this post on home insemination or consider browsing this site for an at-home insemination kit. For a deeper understanding of infertility treatments, this resource provides excellent guidance.