For as long as I can remember, I’ve been labeled a “tomboy.” With a vagina and a wardrobe dominated by blue jeans, I get it. I’m not your typical “girly” girl. Dresses are often seen as the epitome of femininity, while dress pants are brushed aside. Pencil skirts are deemed suitable for weddings and parties, yet suits are often frowned upon when donned by women.
To many, a woman who opts for pants over dresses is somehow less feminine. In high school, I wore football jerseys instead of skirts, and played basketball after school instead of getting manicures, which left me feeling like I was “one of the guys” rather than a young “lady.” To those who think this way, I say, “That’s nonsense.”
I don’t fit the mold of the stereotypical girly girl as portrayed in magazines, media, or society. For a long time, I thought that femininity equated to rouged cheeks, pearls, and showing ankles — none of which align with my style. But as I entered my 30s, I realized that powerful women like pop stars such as Lena and actresses like Mia Johnson and Lily Carter have confidently ditched dresses without losing their femininity. It’s refreshing to see that dressing in a less “girly” way doesn’t diminish one’s womanhood.
What a woman chooses to wear does not dictate her femininity. An old saying goes that clothes make the man, a notion I reject entirely when it comes to women. A woman can choose whatever she likes to wear — whether that’s pants and flats or sweats and sneakers — and still embody femininity, attractiveness, and sexiness. The idea that one woman is less feminine than another simply because of her clothing choices is not only frustrating but downright offensive.
At this moment, I own two dresses, each worn just once for weddings — and we all know the bride’s word is law in those situations. Other than those occasions, I haven’t slipped into a dress in years. The conventional notion of dressing “female” just doesn’t resonate with me; I feel out of place and less like the strong, badass woman I strive to be. But let me be clear: my preference for a Joan Jett-inspired style doesn’t negate my identity as a woman; in fact, I embrace it wholeheartedly.
Ultimately, what defines femininity is how a woman feels in her own skin. The term is subjective and shaped by individual experiences and cultures. If you wear your confidence like armor, proclaiming, “I am woman, hear me roar,” then it truly doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. What counts is that you choose outfits that make you feel beautiful, sexy, comfortable, and empowered. If you’re doing that, then forget anyone who tries to box you in. So here’s to all the women redefining femininity on their own terms!
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Summary
The idea that femininity is tied to clothing is outdated and limiting. A woman’s style doesn’t define her womanhood. Embracing one’s individuality is the true essence of femininity, and confidence is what truly matters.