As a preschool educator, I often witness the emotional turmoil that can accompany school or daycare drop-offs. The tears can be heart-wrenching, but I assure you, the duration of those tears often correlates with how long you linger. I understand it’s tough to leave a child in distress, but with the right approach, their sadness can be short-lived. So, how can you navigate this delicate moment? Here are some key do’s and don’ts to consider.
Don’t: Slip Away Stealthily
While it may be tempting to sneak out when your child isn’t looking, this approach can backfire. Children often cry due to fears of abandonment, and disappearing without saying goodbye only reinforces those fears.
Do: Bid Farewell Warmly
Always say goodbye and remind your child that you love them. Share a hug, kiss, or any special parting ritual you have—it helps create a sense of security.
Don’t: Convey Your Own Anxiety
Children gauge their safety by reading their parents’ expressions. If you look anxious or upset, it can heighten their own worries.
Do: Maintain a Positive Demeanor
Smile and reassure them that they will have a wonderful time at school. It might take some effort to project confidence, especially if this is your first experience with separation.
I completely understand how parents feel during these moments. Often, the parents are the ones who need tissues more than the kids! It’s tough to show strength when you’re feeling torn inside. So, put on your biggest smile as you walk away—you can save your tears for later. Many schools even have spaces for parents to collect themselves after drop-off.
Don’t: Dismiss Their Tears
Let your child know that it’s okay to feel sad and that you care about their feelings. It’s important not to diminish their emotions or express frustration over their tears.
Do: Offer Reassurance
Remind them that they will have a fun day and that you’ll be back to pick them up. You can even plan something enjoyable to do together after school, which gives them something to look forward to. For instance, you might say, “I heard we’re going to the park after school!” This can shift their focus from sadness to excitement.
For example, you might say:
You: Alright, Alex, it’s time for me to head to work. I love you!
Alex: (starts crying)
You: (scoop them up for a big hug) Don’t worry, buddy! You’re going to have so much fun at school! I’ll be back at [dismissal time], and we can make those cool crafts together!
Alex: (still upset) No, I don’t want you to go!
You: (hand them to a teacher) I have to go now, but I can’t wait to hear all about your day! I love you! Goodbye!
And then, just walk away.
I know it’s hard to leave when your child is upset, but I can nearly guarantee that when you pick them up later, they will be smiling and eager to share their day with you. I’ve seen it countless times, and it truly works.
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Summary
Navigating drop-offs can be challenging for both parents and children. By saying goodbye warmly, maintaining a positive demeanor, and reassuring your child, you can help ease their anxiety and foster a smoother transition. Remember, the way you handle this moment can significantly impact their experience throughout the day.