As I stood in the kitchen scrolling through Facebook, desperately searching for a babysitter for Valentine’s Day, my 7-year-old daughter, Lily, erupted into a fit of frustration. It’s amusing how, as a parent, you can quickly differentiate between your children’s various cries. This time, Lily wasn’t hurt or in trouble; she was simply annoyed. It was the same exasperated wail she made when she faced a tough homework problem.
The source of her distress? Those overpriced, flimsy Princess Elena tattoos that came with the Valentine’s cards we’d just picked up at the store. Determined to separate them herself, she was struggling and ended up tearing half of the 30 cards in the process. By the time I reached her room, she was sprawled across her bed, kicking her legs in full meltdown mode, her face flushed with frustration.
As I calmed her down and helped her with the tattoos, my phone buzzed with messages from teenagers letting me know they were already booked for Valentine’s Day. It hit me—I was too late to secure a sitter.
This is the reality of being an adult with young children on Valentine’s Day. I remember my college years working at a local restaurant, where Valentine’s Day meant endless tables of couples who didn’t tip well and took their sweet time lingering over their meals. Back then, I found it all a bit comical, a commercialized holiday designed to make people spend money. Fast forward to my 30-something self with kids, and I completely understand the desire to share a quiet, intimate dinner with my partner. In the decade my spouse, Sarah, and I have been parents, we’ve been able to steal away for a Valentine’s date maybe two or three times.
Living far from family and managing our lively kids makes it even harder to find a sitter. When we finally do, we often rush through our evening out, feeling guilty for leaving the sitter with our energetic crew.
I know this phase won’t last forever. One day, our oldest son will be mature enough to watch his younger siblings, and things will get easier. While I recognize we could always celebrate on a different day, it never feels quite as special.
I can already hear someone gearing up to share their sage advice in the comments, but that’s not what I’m looking for. I just want to vent about the challenge of balancing being a romantic spouse while also being a devoted dad on Valentine’s Day.
After helping Lily with the cards, she excitedly told me about her friends at school who would give her special Valentines, complete with the cutest temporary tattoos. Then, she asked me to close my eyes—a request I always approach with skepticism, usually anticipating something sticky or wet. But I complied, as I always do.
I heard her scribbling something, and when she finally said, “Okay, you can open them,” she handed me one of her special Valentines. “Love you, Dad” was scrawled across it, and her missing front tooth only added to her charm. Looking up at me with her gap-toothed grin and bangs just above her eyebrows, I couldn’t help but feel my heart warm despite my earlier disappointment over the sitter situation.
As I reflected on my wife and family, I realized that even though Valentine’s Day isn’t the romantic evening I once envisioned, it still holds a special significance. It’s a day dedicated to expressing love, and Lily certainly grasped that concept. Despite my yearning for a special outing with Sarah, I needed to shift my focus from frustration to the love that surrounds me.
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At the end of the day, while I may not have had the perfect Valentine’s Day plan, the love shared within my family made it all worthwhile.