Last week, I picked up my daughter from basketball practice, and as soon as she settled into the car, she sighed, “I really need to lift weights. My arms are too skinny.” Looking at her in the rear-view mirror, I could see the self-critique taking shape. “Your arms are just fine. Did someone say something, or is this just how you feel?”
“No one said anything. I just think they’re too small. I hate them.” The sadness in her voice was palpable as she tugged at her shirt sleeves, clearly on the brink of tears. It made me wonder if someone had indeed said something, or if she was comparing herself to her teammates—a habit that many girls, unfortunately, fall into. It’s disheartening how early the idea of “being different equates to being less than” begins to creep into young minds.
I’ve heard comments directed at my daughter that are supposed to be humorous: “Does she even eat?” “Do you feed her enough?” “She’s too skinny.” While these remarks are often meant to be light-hearted, they can cut deep. It’s time to confront the hypocrisy surrounding comments about body weight, especially when it comes to being too thin. Why is it acceptable to say, “Go eat something”? That sentiment should be just as off-limits as telling someone, “Do you really need to eat that?” I would never think to suggest that a curvier person should reduce their food intake, so why is it acceptable to comment on my daughter’s body?
Society often mistakenly views remarks about thinness as compliments, with quips about needing to indulge in a pizza being treated as jokes. Spoiler alert: They’re not funny. The snickers that often follow such comments are equally unacceptable.
Let’s agree here: commenting on anyone’s body is simply not okay. This is especially damaging for young girls who are still learning to feel confident in their skin. We’ve all experienced the pressure of societal standards—ask any woman, or man, for that matter.
While some may argue that my perspective is too rigid, I firmly believe that the principle of not shaming women for their weight applies universally. There’s a glaring double standard when it comes to “skinny” individuals; it’s often deemed acceptable to tease them without consequence. Whether they actively work on their physique or not, these women are expected to accept backhanded compliments in stride. I call bullshit on that.
When someone makes a comment to my daughter about her slim physique, it’s akin to criticizing someone for being overweight. The notion that to be thin, one must be starving or suffering is a harmful mindset that has to end. There are women who are naturally slim, regardless of their diet, and there are those who choose to lead healthy lifestyles for their own reasons. Their bodies reflect a myriad of choices, genetics, and sometimes just luck.
This also means we need to discard harmful phrases like, “Real women have curves” or “She should eat a cheeseburger.” The term “real woman” is not defined by size or physical appearance. Real women understand their worth, no matter their shape. They enjoy cheeseburgers, hit the gym, are naturally slim, or are proudly plus-size. They possess strength, kindness, and integrity—and most importantly, they refrain from making disparaging comments about another’s body type.
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In summary, it’s vital to recognize that skinny-shaming is a real issue. Comments about anyone’s body, regardless of size, can have lasting effects on self-esteem. Let’s work towards a world where everyone, regardless of their body type, is respected and celebrated for who they are.