When I was a child, my father was often absent, consumed by his restaurant business. His rare moments at home were typically spent sleeping or glued to the news. Even on weekends and holidays, it was my mother who provided the hands-on parenting we needed. She was the one who cooked, cleaned, shuttled us to activities, and welcomed us into her bed every night.
I vividly recall an incident from when I was about nine years old. My dad picked me up from a friend’s house, and it felt unusual to be alone with him in the car. Fast forward to today: my husband, who is far more involved than my father was, still works over 60 hours a week while I manage the household and the kids. This background may have influenced my reaction when I saw an Instagram post from the blogger Dadventures, showing a father vacuuming while wearing his infant in a carrier. I couldn’t help but comment, “Incredible!” His reply was simply, “Nah, just dad.” This interaction sparked my reflections on our possibly outdated perceptions of fatherhood.
Shortly after, I came across another post by the blogger Modern Dad. In it, he skillfully juggled a shopping cart and a stroller with twin babies in tow. His caption read, “Just me and the girls at the store—heads were turning. They’d never seen anyone handle a cart & stroller with such ease. Don’t send a woman to do a man’s job.” He noted in the comments how his wife often faces scrutiny for her parenting, whereas he gets praise simply for being present.
It’s a common experience for many dads: they receive accolades for tasks that often go unnoticed when performed by mothers. One father shared that he frequently hears compliments when out with his son, to which he thinks, “No, I’m just being a dad.” While such compliments may seem flattering, they can also feel somewhat condescending.
I genuinely admire fathers who take on traditional parenting tasks—like packing a diaper bag or organizing outings—because they are defying the norms they grew up with. Men today are stepping up to create a better work-life balance and break free from outdated gender roles. I applaud dads for simply being engaged, not out of surprise, but from an appreciation of their progressive efforts.
We need to shift our mindset. It’s time to stop assuming that men are clueless and women are naturally adept. It’s also essential to acknowledge that a dad caring for his children is not “babysitting”—it’s parenting. We should raise our expectations for dads and lower the misconceptions surrounding moms, but let’s not stop the compliments altogether. Instead, we should celebrate every parent’s daily contributions, no matter how routine they may seem.
Parenting is hard work, regardless of gender. We change countless diapers, weather endless crying spells, and spend hours at playgrounds—not just for our enjoyment, but for our children’s development. Both moms and dads deserve equal recognition and support. Let’s dismantle the rigid expectations we place on each other and embrace a more equal perspective on parenting. We should encourage everyone to share the love and say to every parent, “You’re doing a great job!”
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In summary, recognizing the efforts of dads in their parenting roles is crucial for promoting equality and breaking down traditional gender stereotypes. Compliments should flow to all parents, celebrating the hard work and commitment they show every day.